10. Carve pumpkins.
Let’s kick things off with the most innocuous-sounding fall activity: pumpkin carving. Each pledge is given a pumpkin and a carving utensil, but not a knife. Some can be given spoons and forks, others given claw hammers and tire irons. Either pledge class president or the resident loud mouth should be given a dildo. Once the pledges are halfway through their allotted time, an active steps forward and ups the ante by telling the class that the worst pumpkin-carving pledge has to carry his creation with him everywhere for a week.
9. Go on a scavenger hunt.
Give the pledges a brief list of strange items for the house that could be re-purposed later for some nefarious basement fun, but be sure to include one item that doesn’t exist or can’t be found on campus and over-stress the importance of said item.
If you go to Alabama or West Virginia, send them out to look for a virgin. For Ole Miss pledges, tell them to find a book that doesn’t have pictures or a connect-the-dots. Arizona State and South Carolina guys can send their pledges to search for a championship ring. For Kansas pledges, just finding a “W” somewhere on campus will suffice.
8. Start a fantasy league.
I’m sure all the actives have a league for just brothers and possibly friends and family, but starting a fantasy league with the pledges is a great way to spend some Sunday afternoons together (once the house is clean).
But there’s a catch.
The pledges have to spend their first three draft picks only on players from the Browns, Titans, 49ers, and Eagles. Don’t forget to set a terribly humiliating penalty for a last place finish.
7. Trick-or-treat sorority houses/make a house-less sorority Thanksgiving dinner.
I’m sure your Groupme has a long list of terrific pledge costume ideas buried somewhere in the archives. Dust it off and send the pledges around sorority row with pillow cases for trick-or-treating. This is best executed if the sororities aren’t anticipating it. That should make for some interesting finds.
A month later, the pledges can give back by cooking Thanksgiving dinner for some second-banana sorority that’s too new, small, poor, or irrelevant to have a central house. Chalk it up as “feeding the homeless.”
6. Hold a flag football or soccer game between pledges and actives.
Every fall, even the most out-of-shape brothers are eager to play some ball and relive the glory days of mop-up duty on the JV squad. The pledges will make for a formidable opponent. Perhaps too formidable. You should give them a little handicap, just to even the playing field.
A good way to handcuff the pledges in a game of flag football is to actually handcuff them — pair them up and zip tie them together. In the case of a soccer match, make the pledges exchange shoes and eye glasses, where applicable.
If dues come in a little bit early this fall and the chapter has some money to burn, take the pledge class on a field trip to the nearest paintball facility or a cornfield. Allow them all the necessary equipment, but only give them 1/4 of the ammo brothers get and hint that they should save as many paintballs as possible until the end.
4. Organize a Halloween parade and party.
Usually putting the pledges in charge of anything ends catastrophically. But, if they’re having a good few weeks, let them organize a party near the end of October. Except, they’re not allowed to buy decorations in a party store or Walmart. They must travel to actual derelict cemeteries and blighted homes to scour for house decorations.
If the pledges have been sucking major horse cock, as is expected, don’t let them organize the party and, instead, make them lead a Halloween parade. Give them insane costume directives and only a few days to pull them off. Start them at one end of campus, with the best pledge driver in front, and have them march back to the house, just in time for the party you organized.
3. Tailgate every game.
After a long week of tests and fetching beers, the pledges deserve an afternoon off to tailgate and relax. And run to Costco for a couple dozen burgers and dogs so they can spend their Saturday afternoon grilling for their favorite actives, who should be equally enervated from a long week of hammering brotherhood into their thick skulls. Better yet, they could use some practice driving between the house and stadium, and should also wear the Halloween costumes they made for the last game in October.
2. Make seasonal beer.
While the brothers enjoy the best seasonal October beers this great nation has to offer, give the pledges a couple cases of Natty (depending on the class size), some nutmeg, pumpkin spice, and a Gatorade container to mix it all. Just tell them to make sure they finish it all.
1. Go camping.
A good crop of new guys can make camping downright enjoyable for actives if they’re diligent about starting and maintaining the fire and filling cups before they’re empty. Before long, they may find themselves off-duty, enjoying a beer, as well.
Also, hazing. Hazing is a fun fall activity..