10 Whiskey Drinks That’ll Help With The Waistline This Summer

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In the previous two drinks lists, I covered the dry Manhattan, old fashioned, Kentucky lemon, scotch on the rocks and Jack & diet as some good, cold whiskey drinks that are fairly low in calories and negligible in the carb department. Despite being the most popular whiskey drinks, there are plenty more that are either low carb or can be tweaked.

For everyone who works too hard to stay in shape, but can’t seem to put the bottle down, here are 10 more drinks to beat the garbage body this summer. Like before, I’ll start with a good hangover recovery drink.

Honorable Mention: Irish Coffee
The Irish coffee doesn’t make the list because it’s typically a drink served hot. Depending on how hungover you are, you may want to adjust the Jameson/Splenda ratio. Otherwise, pour a cup of coffee, add plenty of cream, dump in the Jameson and add sweetener as needed.

10. Handlebar/Rusty Nail
The handlebar is a strong, simple little Scottish drink. Mix up some scotch with Drambuie with equal parts fresh lime juice. Don’t go too heavy on the Drambuie. That’s where most of the sweetness comes from. The rusty nail is just a handlebar, sans lime juice.

9. Golden Nail
Golden nail (a variation of the rusty nail above) is comparably simple and might be a good gateway drink for big boozers that don’t like whiskey very much. Shake up four parts bourbon to three parts Southern Comfort and pour over ice. Like Drambuie, the SoCo gives the drink its sweet/spiced flavor, so less SoCo equates to less sweetness and fewer carbs.

8. Hawk
The hawk is a good cross-over drink for gin lovers. It’s strong, dry and only calls for equal parts bourbon and gin, mixed with some lemon juice (lemon might taste good too, but I’m not a gin fan so I haven’t tried it). If it’s too manly for you, you can top it with a maraschino cherry.

7. Irish Car Bomb
Surprise, surprise. The car bomb isn’t that bad for your waistline. Like I said in the last drink list, Guinness is a heart-friendly, low-cal beer. Bailey’s isn’t that bad for you either, as long as you’re not going to chug it. At only a couple carbs per ounce, a small splash won’t matter. On car bomb nights, I prefer heavy Jameson anyway. Get a big shot glass, add barely an ounce of Irish cream and float the Jameson before you bomb it into eight or nine ounces of Guinness. Drink quick. It’ll curdle.

6. Irish Rose
The Irish rose is simple. You just need some Jameson, lemon juice and a tiny bit of grenadine. You can choose to shake the whole thing and add just enough grenadine to take the edge off, or add the grenadine last to layer the drink aesthetically (and make it look like an actual rose).

5. Ward Eight
I’m a fan of the ward eight (or the Ward Eight-Six as it’s known in Steeler Country), but it’s pretty sugary. Following the recipe exactly, you’ll mix bourbon with lemon juice, orange juice, grenadine and sugar syrup. That’s too much sweetness for a whiskey drink. I think all the sweetness can come from the citrusy mixers. Put simply, this drink tastes dryer and better with just bourbon, lemon juice and oj. Orange juice can have a lot of added sugar, so be careful how much you add.

4. Missouri Mule
Assigning drinks geographical names is sometimes confusing. The Moscow mule was invented in the US. The Manhattan is made with Canadian whiskey and the Missouri mule is made with a French liqueur. The latter can be made with bourbon, lemon juice and creme de casis, that aforementioned French liqueur. I’m not sure why it doesn’t have ginger beer in it, or if you’re supposed to enjoy it in a copper mug. I’d like to meet the folks who name these drinks.

3. Cowboy
This drink appeals to car bomb lovers who don’t feel like drinking till the lights go out. It’s a strong, sipping drink that consists only of two parts bourbon to one part light cream, though I’m sure you can substitute Irish whiskey in place of the bourbon. It would probably need a new name. I’m trying to find the Irish equivalent of a cowboy, but I’m running out of Google patience.

2. Monte Carlo
I put the Monte Carlo at number two because it shares a name with my frehicle (frat vehicle) and I love my fratty carlo. This drink requires two parts bourbon to one part Benedictine. Benedictine might be tougher to find at some stores and there’s no guarantee the bar will have it either. Benedictine is a spiced, French liqueur and, at only five grams of carbs per ounce, won’t set a ketogenic diet back too far. Have one or two and switch back to Jack and diet.

1. Texas Tea
There are dozens of variations of the Long Island iced tea, one of which includes bourbon. The best part is, adding bourbon makes it even more alcoholic. A few of these, made correctly, will most assuredly knock even a seasoned drinker on his ass. I’m no spring chicken and three of these had me calling for a ride a few nights ago (albeit, all I had to eat that day was shitty Pa Turnpike food). Mix up bourbon, tequila, vodka, light rum, gin with a little bit of triple sec (specifically Cointreau if you’re gonna spend some money) and top it with Diet Coke. This drink is dangerously good.

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Kramer is a future Bachelorette contestant with an affinity for brown girls, who hails from the more successful side of the keystone state. He enjoys long crawls to the liquor cabinet and has only been punched in the face once. Send lovelies to kraysmash@gmail.com

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