Carmelo Flores Laura (I wonder if they call him “Melo” like America’s Carmelo) is the oldest living person ever documented, according to Bolivia’s public records. He was born in 1890. To provide you a little perspective, Babe Ruth was born in 1895; he died 65 years ago and left an amazing legacy behind. But still, Ruth would’ve been five years younger than this guy — that fat sonofabitch lived off beer, cigars, and hot dogs. I’m pretty sure Melo couldn’t go upper-deck at Yankee Stadium in front of 50,000 strong while hungover like the Babe used to, but what he lacked in power from the left side, he made up for with longevity.
What does Melo credit as the reason for his longevity?
“I walk a lot, that’s all. I go out with the animals,” says Flores, who long herded cattle and sheep. “I don’t eat noodles or rice, only barley. I used to grow potatoes, beans, oca (an Andean tuber).”
His gums bulge with coca leaf, a mild stimulant that staves off hunger. Like most Bolivian highlands peasants, he has been chewing it all his life.
Okay, so it’s not like he’s waking up next to a couple downtrodden hookers and ripping inch-wide gator tails before breakfast or anything, but coke is derived from the coca leaf. Melo’s well-respected in the Bolivian coke game.
Lookin’ good, Melo. That goatee could use a trim, but other than that, that’s the best looking 123-year-old man you could ever see. You have to feel bad for his facial hair game. That stuff is weak. 123 years old and still can’t grow a man beard. Stick with it, man. Maybe in your 140s it’ll start to thicken up.
[via NY Post]
Image via Gbooza