15,000 Bottles Of Jameson Stolen In Best Heist Ever

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Nice Move

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I won’t lie, I’ve been the asshole who’s stolen beer from parties. I’m not proud of it, but to be fair, their parties sucked and my friends and I were thirsty. I imagine the same rationale was behind the recent heist of a Dublin warehouse in which 15,000 bottles of Jameson were stolen by some really ballsy thieves.

Their method was simple: they walked in, tied up the employees at gunpoint, proceeded to load cases of Jameson, Bombay Sapphire, and Jack Daniel’s onto TWO semi trucks, and then drove the fuck away. I’m not normally a fan of felony thefts, but I have to admit that I really enjoy the brass these guys showed. Not only did they stick up a warehouse, which is probably staffed by burly Irishmen just as angry and down for a fight as the thieves are, but they then spent what had to have been an eternity loading thousands of cases onto two separate trucks. I have so many questions. Did they have a forklift? Did they just do a fire brigade line to the truck? Do they own these trucks? Was Brad Pitt’s character from “Snatch” involved? Are they aware of how hilarious it is for them to pull this off, given that the whole of Ireland is stereotyped for being full of whiskey-drunk criminals?

Apparently it’s expected that they’ll try to sell all the liquor off during the holiday season, but why bother? Sure, you can probably get a couple bucks for each bottle and risk getting caught, or you can give them all away to the people of Dublin and then never have to worry about being caught for any future crime. Seriously, if they just gave it all away, they’d become the whiskey Robin Hoods of Ireland, which is exactly the type of Robin Hood you’d expect Ireland to have. Also, if any of the guys who pulled this off are reading this, I wouldn’t say no to an international package showing up at my door containing a little contraband.

[via Fox News]

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Sterling Cooper is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. He has never understood why people like sand, and has been in a bitter ten year rivalry with Muggsy Bogues, for reasons neither of them choose to reveal.

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