2016 College Football Week 2 Recap: Down Goes The Big 12

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Week 2

Zero top 25 matchups, more cupcakes than an Adderall cracked out sorority house before a philanthropy bake off, and UCF getting nationally broadcasted on ABC. On paper, the NCAA punted on week 2. But luckily for us, they don’t play the games on paper. Let’s get to it.

We had an absolute barnburner to start off the day…if you had money on the spread. This is why us degenerates love to gamble: making a joke of a game into a dogfight down to the last possession.

The highs, the lows, and the ultimate defeat. I went through every emotion possible before 2 p.m. Central. The Dontravious Wilson 34 yard TD run in the 3rd had me believing we were going to pull this out. We were going to cover the 35.5 points. But Harbaugh must have had the other side. That’s the only explanation for him going for it twice on 4th down up 30. The hopelessness that overwhelmed me after that final Big Blue touchdown to go up 1.5 and needing Nick Patti to march down the field for a garbage TD was how I imagined the Japanese felt after Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Harbaugh picked apart and ate my soul.

Our Colorado Buffs are still undefeated since I proclaimed them “The People’s Team.”

The rise continues. #SkoBuffs

We had our first “DeSean Jackson” of the season.

When you’ve sleepwalked through the first two weeks of the season but realize you have South Carolina State up next.

That Louisville game on October 1st is getting more interesting by the minute.

Speaking of riveting contests, we had a nail biter between the hedges.

Eason or Lambert. Like they say, when you have two quarterbacks…pray for Nick Chubb’s knee.

Has anyone checked on T. Boone Pickens today?

Referee incompetence. Divine intervention at work. Tomato, tomotto. It was fucking fantastic regardless.

So was the Holy War. It was an ugly, struggle of a football game, but for one reason or another, I couldn’t look away.

Simultaneously, Bret Bielema got his annual “signature win” that will turn the Arkansas program around.

No big deal, but I called this on our college football podcast. Don’t get too excited, though. Bret Bielema will find a way to lose games he should win and go 7-5 again. Get your tickets to the Liberty Bowl while you still can Hog fans. Woo Pig Sooie.

You’ll be listening to college football analyst ask whether or not James Franklin is on the “hot seat” at least 52 times this year.

Taking the over on a Texas Tech game is just going to the ATM to withdraw money.

Around the rest of the country

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