- Trump backs his claims with “People are saying.”
- Anytime Trump tries to connect with African American voters by doing a sassy “Oh no you didn’t” hand gesture.
- Hillary tries to connect with the youth of America with a year-old pop culture reference.
- Hillary talks about how she has a vagina.
- Trump alludes to his dick and/or balls.
- Trump sarcastically compliments Hillary’s pantsuit.
- Trump interrupts Hillary with an insult or “to get his point across” by insulting her.
- Hillary attempts to interrupt Trump but gets strong armed by a “Can I finish?”
- Trump says the words “great,” “tremendous,” “huge,” or “beautiful” multiple times in the same breath.
- Trump cartoonishly shrugs or appears to be having an orgasm on stage.
- Hillary looks dizzy deflecting statements about her emails or Benghazi.
- Either candidate reassures the public that they’re in perfectly good health.
- Trump’s past donations to Hillary are acknowledged and then discredited seconds later by Trump.
- Hillary’s honesty is in question.
- Chelsea, Ivanka, or Melania are dragged through the mud.
- Trump drops a “People love me” or remarks about the ratings.
- Trump goes with his noted speech crutches “If I’m elected president, we will win again,” or “Make America great again,” and Hillary responds with, “America is already great.”
- Hillary appears to be contemplating having Donald Trump murdered.
- Mike Pence or Tim Kaine are mentioned and you find yourself asking, “Wait, who the fuck are they?”
- Trump sounds like your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving dinner.
- Hillary short circuits and forgets her “how to be a normal human being” programming.
Finish your drink whenever:
- Bill’s sexual indiscretions get brought into the mix.
- Trump backs up an argument with legitimate, specific facts and not broad political overtones.
- Hillary actually lands a joke.
- Trump reassures people he’s a true Republican.
- Moderator Lester Holt isn’t ignored when he wants to move on.
Butt chug if:
- Hillary dabs.
- Trump gets attacked or assassinated.
- Hillary starts convulsing on stage and has to be shocked back to life.
- You feel genuinely good about where American politics currently stand..
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