25 Best News Stories From TFM In 2014

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Bringing you the 25 most popular news stories of the year.

25. University of Delaware Students Caught Having Sex Behind Dumpster During St. Patrick’s Day Celebration

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24. Phi Kappa Psi At Ohio Hilariously Recreates Sorority Recruitment Video With Shot-For-Shot Parody

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Sometimes it’s all about attention to detail.

23. “Life, love, and p*ssy” – Outrageous Sigma Chi Email Leaked

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You’re about to be introduced to a guy, a Sigma Chi from College of William and Mary, that loves him some vagina, as evidenced by this description from his chapter-wide email: “God’s greatest gift: the box.”

22. Chick Asks Professor To Postpone Finals, He Denies Request With Great One-Word Response

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Get Professor Raney a medal, a beer, or something. He earned it.

21. Girl Accidentally Sends Nudes To Her Father, Shares Embarrassing Ordeal With Internet

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I’ll never know her reasoning, but I do know I’m glad she made the decision she made, because this shit’s hilarious.

20. Kid Walks In On His Girlfriend Cheating On Him, Takes Photos, Shares Them On Facebook

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Like any reasonable dude who just caught his main bitch fucking around would do, he decided to document it and share the heartwarming moment with the world.

19. Sorority Girl Calls Herself “The Dick Sucking Queen” In Graphic Message To Sisters

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Move over, Cunt Punt.

18. LSU Student Studies Completely Nude In Library, Doesn’t Have A Worry In The World

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I have no idea who the nude scholar is or why he chose this particular method of studying, but I applaud his boldness and inability to give a fuck.

17. UNC Kid Stands Up In Biology Class, Declares That He’s Dropping, Then Drops Pants And Does Striptease

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The lecture disruption game is alive and well at the University of North Carolina.

16. Here’s The Kim Jong-un Death Scene That Might Start World War III

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Now, I’m sure this whole flick will eventually get leaked and I’ll find the appropriate channels to see it in its entirety, but here is the Kim Jong-un death scene

15. “The Snappening” Is Approaching – 200,000 Snapchat Nudes To Be Leaked

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Y’all were living in nude paradise. Vacation’s over for about 200,000 of you, though.

14. Miami University Beta Throws “Beta Theta Bye” Party After Getting Kicked Off, Gives Nationals A Big F-U On Twitter

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Hey, if you’re going to get kicked off for supposedly acting like assholes, you might as well actually act like assholes.

13. Here Are The American Colleges With The Most On-Campus Drug And Alcohol Arrests

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Wisky, aptly-nicknamed, is coming in HOT.

12. And Here’s A Snapchat Of Jameis Winston Asking For A Tit Pic

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She 100% showed him her boobies.

11. You’ll Want To See The Girls Johnny Manziel And Jimmy Tatro Took Home From The Club

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When the world was introduced to Lauren Hanley.

10. Fox News Sends Hot Reporter To PCB To Investigate Spring Break, Results Are Exactly What You Would Imagine

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Fox sought to spotlight the ridiculous nature of the activities that college students are getting into at these popular spring break destinations, seemingly in order to alarm the parents of these students, but also because they know this is some quality entertainment.

9. Bama Sorority Girl Shits In Guy’s Bedroom After Not Getting Laid

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There are several levels of girl-crazy. I think this one falls in the category right between “Slash his tires and bust his windshield out” crazy and the kind of crazy that ends up on the 10 o’clock news for hatching homeboy to pieces.

8. According To Teammates, Greg Maddux Was Basically That Sick Bastard In Your Fraternity Who Plays Horrific Pranks

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According to former teammates like Chipper Jones, Maddux is a “dirtbag” and “one of the grossest guys I’ve ever been around in my life.”

7. White Sox Give Away White Ponchos, Inadvertently Turn Stadium Into A Klan Rally

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Somehow, the White Sox came to the conclusion that handing out white ponchos with pointed hoods before their game against the Los Angeles Angels was a solid idea.

6. Map Of The Lamest Party Schools In The Nation Will Make You Glad You Don’t Go There

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Cheers to all those who go to a school that isn’t on this list.

5. Read The Letter Dan Bilzerian’s Lawyer Wrote To Porn Star Who Dan Threw Off A Roof

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His response is perhaps exactly how you’d imagine Dan Bilzerian’s lawyer would respond to a poor attempt at reaching into his client’s deep pockets–with just a tinge of asshole.

4. Guy Accidentally Texts His 32 Tinder Matches At Once And They Hilariously Rip Him To Pieces

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You’re about to meet Joshua, a Tinder casanova who sucks at text messaging.

3. English Teacher Receives “Fuck You” Letter From Student, Edits It To Highlight Asshole Senior’s Stupidity

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In other words, the teacher pretty much said, “BOOM. You just got roasted, you high school chump.

2. Father Of The Year Records 5 Minutes Of Middle School Kids Busting Their Asses On Ice

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What does he do? Get out and warn the kids there’s a latent hazard that could lead to them busting their asses and potentially breaking bones? No fucking way, man!

1. Guy Goes To Mexico To Kill Himself, Spends Week Doing Coke And Banging Hookers, Decides To Keep Living

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Two thousand dollars spent on a trip to Mexico, a cab ride, a seedy hotel room, excessive amounts of cocaine, and hooker orgies legitimately saved a man’s life.

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