Ever since the dawn of organized education, there has been a deep division amongst the student body. Traditionally this division has been between incredibly intelligent yet physically fragile nerds and athletic jocks that are dumber than a sock full of used condoms. However, this dichotomy has been played out by every single B rate college movie ever produced. It’s out dated and cliché in modern times. No one really cares if you’re smart and no one really cares if you’re in shape. The stigma doesn’t exist any more… unless you want to be a quantum physicist or a porn star. If that’s the case, you should probably stick to conventional stereotypes.
The new division is between the Greek system and GDIs. The absolute epitome of a GDI is the hipster. The hipster is an elusive, “non-conformist”, cultural bottom feeder, teeming with an unwarranted sense of self worth and arrogance. There is no common ground between the two camps. Hipsters hate Greeks because they see them as the ultimate conformity. Greeks can’t stand hipsters because… well… no one can stand hipsters.
For those who might not be aware of the distinction between these two radically different sub-cultures, here are 25 differences between the hipster and the fraternity man.
Hipster: Can’t be defined because definitions are too mainstream.
Frat: Proudly wears his letters in public.
Hipster: Tries as hard as he can to look like he doesn’t give a fuck.
Frat: Simply does not give a fuck.
Hipster: Pretends to know everything because he has a liberal arts degree.
Frat: Googles what he wants to know, whenever he wants to know it.
Hipster: Only drinks PBR in a can.
Frat: Drinks anything he can get his hands on.
Hipster: Most likely found in a Starbucks, talking to androgynous females.
Frat: Most likely wasted in a bar, talking to hot sorority girls.
Hipster: Drinks coffee.
Frat: Snorts Adderall.
Hipster: Works at a fast food restaurant.
Frat: Owns a fast food restaurant chain.
Hipster: Obsesses over his weight and has no more than 2% body fat.
Frat: Either works out a lot or proudly rocks his hard earned beer belly.
Hipster: Goes to fancy hair salons to get edgy and messy appearing hairstyles.
Frat: Naturally has edgy and messy hair because he hasn’t showered from the night before.
Hipster: Saves the environment by riding a bike.
Frat: Saves on gas by making pledges drive.
Hipster: Listens to terrible indie music that no one has heard of.
Frat: Has an ipod with every 80’s song ever made.
Hipster: Doesn’t have any republican friends.
Frat: Doesn’t give liberals the chance to be his friend.
Hipster: Wonders why everyone just can’t get along.
Frat: Wonders why America hasn’t kicked the whole world’s ass yet.
Hipster: Only eats organic and vegan food.
Frat: Prefers meat he kills himself, settles for meat others have killed.
Hipster: Spends all his money on women’s jeans and ironic T-shirts.
Frat: Spends all his money on booze and/or blow.
Hipster: Wears thick-rimmed glasses even though he has perfect vision.
Frat: Wears sunglasses at night.
Hipster: Has good grades because he was a nerd growing up.
Frat: Has good grades because he’s banging the hot TA.
Hipster: A road trip consists of 3 friends, a carton of cigarettes, and Instagram.
Frat: A road trip consists of 2 busloads of people, no sexual inhibitions, and enough alcohol to kill 3 African elephants.
Hipster: A house party consists of a bunch of pseudo intellectual douche bags standing around discussing Marxism while listening to Bright Eyes and Animal Collective.
Frat: A house party is the reason you woke up naked on the lawn.
Hipster: Doesn’t own a TV and rejects pop culture.
Frat: Has the biggest possible TV, stadium seating, and a keggerator.
Hipster: Despises women who are slutty and shallow.
Frat: Prefers women who are slutty and shallow.
Hipsters: Considers himself an artist, even though he can’t draw.
Frat: Has mastered the art of drawing dicks on people who pass out.
Hipster: Only uses the most current version of the iPhone. Throws it away when the new model comes out.
Frat: Only has a smart phone until he gets shit faced and breaks it. Then he uses whatever is around.
Hipster: Looks down on warfare and the armed forces.
Frat: Is the first one to buy a round for the brave men and women who protect our freedom.
Hipster: Thinks he’s better than everyone else.
Frat: Knows he’s better than everyone else.