27 Pledge Name Ideas

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Most times, when coming up with a good pledge name, that name will have something to do with the person you’re giving it to. For example, my pledge name was “Gary.” Seems innocuous, until you realize my pledge brother and best friend from high school/roommate was given the name Ace. We were Ace and Gary, The Ambiguously Gay Duo. Well played, assholes.

Unfortunately, I don’t know your pledges, though it seems safe to assume that they’re terrible. Thankfully, however, a good pledge name, if not based on something about the kid, is basically just the filthiest, most degrading and clever thing you can think of. Take or leave these suggestions, or improve upon them. Some could have some relevancy to a certain kid (gets no pussy, bangs fatties, is a walking waste of life, etc.), and some are just word combos that made me giggle when imagining calling someone by them. Regardless, here I am, sitting in my office this afternoon, with nothing better to do than put funny, dirty words together in the hopes that they will be attached to some poor 18-year-old bastard.

1. Jizz Beard

2. Fluffer

3. Scrotal Crease

4. Ass Gerbil

5. Dr. Hymen Mangler

6. Fupa Diver

7. Scottie Tip-In

8. Arrid Extra Dry: For Vaginas

9. Faptrick ‘Bates-to-men

10. Grundle Flap

11. Person of No Interest

12. Dishonorable Cheesy Discharge

13. No-Her Vortex

14. Captain Full Hips

15. Rectum Ralph

16. The Dry In King

17. Hobo Penis Face

18. Pee

19. Clitoral Dissatisfaction

20. Tip Gripper

21. Pubic Dandruff

22. Self-Induced Shaft Erosion

23. Living Diarrhea

24. Walking Condom PSA

25. That Pledge Who No One Likes

26. Legacy…Of Failure

27. Fully Grown Errant Hot Tub Load

Feel free to leave your own in the comments.

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