As a lover of all women, I have seen some shit when it comes to the dating scene. I’ve hit some home runs, struck out more times than Babe Ruth, and dinked a few little dribblers onto the chest cannons of a very fine stripper asking me to pay child support. I’ve done terrible things with girls of all different shapes and sizes, and, along the way, I learned a valuable lesson: it pays to date a girl below your usual standards — one that sits above average on your rating scale, around the soft 6 mark, but has an A+ personality. Why? I’ll give you three reasons.
1. Practice Makes Perfect
Practice? We talking ’bout practice? How do you think Alabama wins all those titles? You think they just show up against the best competition and just dominate? Of course not. Saban spends all year long whipping those boys into shape with film sessions, workouts, and drills. Just like the well-oiled machine down in Tuscaloosa, you need to put in the work in order to achieve great success. This time of your life is when you can test out all those crazy sex moves you’ve heard about. See which ones work, which ones don’t. This is only going to pay off in the long run.
2. It Builds Up Your Confidence
Look, no one likes to go into a big time matchup ice cold. Your nerves are already shaking as it is, so why risk totally blowing it by going in without a warmup? This is why the NFL has a pre-season. It’s why the FCS division exists. Hone your skills on some lower tier tush, because, at the end of the day, just like college football teams do with cupcake games throughout the season, you’re getting some action and gaining experience with every step. You’re in a no-lose situation here. Pick a wrong date spot? No worries, now you know not to do that with your next girlfriend. Forget to ask before going anal? Now you know to have the decency to ask rather than slip it in her butt “by accident.” These are important life lessons. Getting these small mistakes out of the way early on in your career is crucial to ensuring you’re not making them when it matters.
3. Her Hot Friends Will Hear Good Things About You
Think of yourself as the TCU of college dating. You’ve been putting in the work for a few good years down with the lower class citizens and just been dominating them on a consistent basis. That’s cute and all, but you’re wanting to run with the big boys. Luckily for you, those eights, nines, and tens have been hanging out with the soft six you’re currently dating. Like any girl does, she’s going to gossip about how you’ve been giving her the good D, what an outstanding guy you are, and how you are way out of her league. Subconsciously, the hotter friends start wanting that good D, and once you break it off with the unattractive girl, they’ll be waiting to pounce.
So go get yourself a nice, wholesome girl. Wine her, dine her, 69 her, and ride that wave to the top..