1. They don’t feel like a pair of bocce balls under her shirt.
2. They look almost as good in clothes as they do out of them.
3. They respect the rules of gravity.
4. She’ll never have any of the medical complications that come with silicone knockers.
5. She didn’t have to pay to be sexy; she was born that way.
6. They don’t look like they’re trying to run away from each other.
7. She’s more likely to get away with going braless- one less step between her and naked.
8. In most cases, they’re more fun to play with.
9. If she’s the one, you could always just buy her fake boobs later.
10. Feeling a fake boob burst is every man’s nightmare.
11. They won’t look weird when she’s 40.
12. She won’t look like she’s about to tip over.
13. As they say, “The best things in life are free.”
14. It’s almost as if they were made to have your face placed between them.
15. She’ll look damn good in your t-shirt the next morning.
16. Natural cleavage is and always will be superior.
17. There’s a much lower chance of her being high-maintenance.
18. Even if they’re small, at least they match her body type.
19. Your mom is pretty much guaranteed to like her more.
20. Natural-breasted girls are way more fun to go on a jog with.
21. See also: trampolines.
22. Her nipples won’t remind you of a staring contest with your lazy eyed Aunt Bertha.
23. Real boobs are to Play-Dough as fake boobs are to cement.
24. They’re naturally more sensitive (read: she’ll like it more when you play with them).
25. Significantly lower chances of daddy issues.
26. No scars to speak of.
27. You’ll find comfort knowing she never spent $4000 solely to become an object of lust.
28. Nothings beats that bra unclasping moment when you let those suckers loose.
29. They make excellent pillows.
30. Which would you prefer- A hotdog nestled in a warm toasted bun, or a hotdog wedged between two softballs?