Columns

31 Questions You Ask Yourself The Morning After Blacking The Fuck Out

willis blackout

  1. Where am I?
  2. Did I pull a hammy?
  3. Whose sombrero is this?
  4. What happened last night?
  5. Who is she?
  6. Where is my phone?
  7. Do I have any new texts?
  8. Who is Emily?
  9. Is that Emily?
  10. We have a cat?
  11. Is that hole new?
  12. Should I wash my sheets?
  13. Her blood or mine?
  14. Did I happen to find a condom and then use it?
  15. What time does the student health center open?
  16. If she wakes up and I’m gone will she get the hint?
  17. Where are my shoes?
  18. Who’s paying for my new door?
  19. Why is there a mirror on the fire escape?
  20. Is that a Dr. Seuss tattoo?
  21. Why is the statue from the quad in my kitchen?
  22. Why did I Uber to Mexico?
  23. Why did I take a selfie with a taco vender and caption it “El Chapo lives!”
  24. What legal trouble am I facing?
  25. Does Diplomatic Immunity apply?
  26. When does Smash graduate from law school?
  27. How did I bruise my knuckles?
  28. I fought who?
  29. Did I win?
  30. Are the kegs tapped?
  31. Is Chik-fil-A open today?

Email this to a friend

15 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More