32 Signs Your Fraternity Isn’t Top Tier

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Nice Move

35 Reasons Why Your Frat Isn't Top Tier

  1. You don’t have a house.
  2. Or you do, but it’s shit. And it’s always dirty or something is broken.
  3. Or the floor’s too sticky.
  4. The only alcohol you can afford is Burnett’s.
  5. And you always run out.
  6. People use your house to pregame for the houses they actually like.
  7. Your pledging period was too short.
  8. Your pledging period was too long.
  9. Girls would rather die than go into the bathroom in your house, and will even walk home to pee.
  10. You think that you’re cute enough to not return the favor (you’re not).
  11. You have bunk beds instead of lofts.
  12. You brag about weird ass drugs no one has ever heard of.
  13. You expect girls to pay you back when you buy them a drink.
  14. And if they don’t, you complain about them to anyone who will listen.
  15. You carry multiple condoms when you go out, even though you can’t recall the last time you’ve seen a vagina.
  16. Your t-shirts are so ugly that girls give them to the homeless.
  17. Your punch tastes like piss.
  18. Your formal is somewhere local.
  19. You refuse to have a darty.
  20. No one in your PC has ever been spotted at the gym.
  21. You continue to throw outrageous themed parties, even though no one dresses for them.
  22. You text every girl in your contacts and beg them to come to your party.
  23. You smoke shit weed. And try to sell it at an outrageous price.
  24. Your house offers a very rapey basement/room/chamber.
  25. Your intramural team could be easily beaten by a middle school team. Or every sorority on campus.
  26. People refer to your house as a “Friendzone Frat.”
  27. You make odd combinations of frat attire, which just leaves everyone confused.
  28. You talk shit about top houses because despite your best efforts, the only girls you can get to come to your parties are soft sixes (on a good day).
  29. Everyone in your PC is blackout drunk by 10 p.m.
  30. There are no elevated surfaces to dance on.
  31. Your DJ’s repertoire is that of someone playing a middle school dance.
  32. Your house has a derogatory nickname.

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