4 LSU Sigma Chis Arrested After Forcibly Removing House Mother’s Door

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In Wednesday’s installment of “What did the Sigma Chis do to their house today?” we head to Baton Rouge to check in on the LSU chapter.

You know that urge you get every time you walk past your house mother’s room? The one where you want to go grab three of your friends and a toolbox or a battering ram to take down her door for good? I mean, she’s had it coming for years, right?

Oh, you don’t? Well, I know four LSU Sigma Chis know what I’m talking about. In fact, they were arrested for it last week.

As reported by LSU’s Daily Reveille (What kind of fucking newspaper name is that?):

Four Sigma Chi fraternity brothers were charged after they forcibly removed the door to their housemother’s room.

In late July, LSUPD identified Christopher Young, 23, Max Garcia, 22, Matthew Palmer, 22, and David Songy, 22, as the four suspects in the case after a photo on social media showed the fraternity members sitting in their housemother’s room.

They then obtained arrest warrants for Young, Garcia and Palmer and booked them into East Baton Rouge Parish Prison.

Look, if you are going to vandalize your own house, and I highly suggest that you do, don’t post a picture of it on social media. Retweets and favorites aren’t fucking cool when they cost you $5,000 in court fees.

I don’t know what the laws in Louisiana are like, but I know in that mosquito infested swampland, they call counties “parishes,” and I’ve seen every episode of “True Detective.” You could tell me these guys are getting probation or the chair and I wouldn’t be surprised either way.

Fucking Sigma Chi–at least they didn’t set the house on fire.

[via Daily Reveille]

Image via LSU Greek Life

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  1. 144
    BroeBear

    Just gonna go out on a limb here and say that four upper middle class white guys aren’t gonna fair too well in East Baton Rouge Parish Prison

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 months ago
  2. -14
    Fratasaurus

    I didn’t even know fraternities had house moms? I’m not even making fun of them, it’s just seems kinda moronic to have a woman in charge of a fraternity house (and apparently a bitchy one who files charges against (her?) fraternity). What was she expecting by living in a fraternity house? Then again, sigma chi nationals/headquarters are a bunch of liberal douches and would probably love to feminize the fraternity.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 months ago
  3. -27
    Tom_Furman

    Hey, when is the next time you’ll write something funny helmet stickers?
    They must be keeping you around as the one guy everyone laughs at in the office. Even the interns.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 months ago