1. You regularly suffer from “What the hell am I going to do with my life?” anxiety.
2. Hangovers keep getting worse, but you keep drinking more.
3. You spend more time determining the lowest score you can get on an exam than you spend studying.
4. You consider skipping class for happy hour on a daily basis.
5. Every bartender knows what you’ll order before you even ask for it.
6. Group projects are the bane of your existence.
7. Assignments that are less than 5% of your grade might as well be optional.
8. Your professors always look surprised when you show up for their classes.
9. You regularly skip pregames to be the first person at a bar tab.
10. Underage friends approach you every night to sneak them drinks in the bathroom.
11. There are a few sororities where you are no longer welcome.
12. The younger kids in the house look up to you…even though you’re generally a terrible role model.
13. You built your entire schedule around the idea that you’ll never wake up before 11.
14. You’re the person that everyone looks for when they need to sign up for an easy class.
15. You’ve seriously considered dropping a class just so you can get another football season.
16. You have no idea that a house event is happening until hours beforehand.
17. You could rank the 50 best restaurants in town with almost no effort.
18. Your scholarship money disappears every semester after a two week binge.
19. You’ve worn the exact same social costume for five separate events.
20. You somehow end every night at the exact same bar.
21. You never bothered to learn the new pledges’ names.
22. You don’t write your papers until the last possible minute, because you “work well under pressure.”
23. You briefly consider murdering the kids who ask too many questions in class.
24. You’re the first to arrive and the last to leave everywhere except class.
25. You’ve accumulated thousands of tagged Facebook pictures.
26. Visiting your old room in the house always leads to talking about how much things have changed.
27. People on campus don’t even try to hand you fliers anymore.
28. You start to feel a little creepy for hooking up with an 18-year-old, but then you do it anyway.
29. You’ve become a master at the art of the afternoon nap.
30. Your intramural talents are nowhere near what they used to be.
31.You seriously consider grad school — not for the employment prospects, just because you don’t want to grow up yet.
32. You completely ignore any thoughts about graduation until right before it actually happens.
33. Your drunken nights occasionally end with a dead-serious “What’s gonna happen next?” conversation.
34. Your only contribution to chapter meetings is talking about how much better things used to be.
35. Peer pressure always wins.
36. You don’t even kid yourself with the “I’m never drinking again” nonsense in the morning.
37. Your partying habits increase substantially the closer and closer you get to the real world.
38. You created a LinkedIn and Monster.com account.
39. 75% of your living expenses end up at your favorite bar.
40. You treat every night out like it was your last.