6-Year-Old Suspended From School For Finger Pistoling Chicks

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This story cuts deep on a personal level. Real deep.

A 6-year-old Montgomery County boy was recently suspended from school for making a gun gesture with his thumb and forefinger. Now, his family has retained a lawyer and is fighting back.

The boy is a student at Roscoe Nix Elementary School in Silver Spring. His attorney, Robin Ficker, says that school officials overreacted to the gesture, since it came a week after the mass shooting at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut, in which 20 elementary school students and 6 staff members were killed.

A life without finger pistols is not a life I want to be a part of. If the schoolyard isn’t the perfect locale for refining your finger-pistoling technique and timing as a youngster, I don’t know what is. School administrators expect these kids to take their FPs into society without proper training? Just drawing on anyone in the street? Swinging that index finger around all willy-nilly with no regard for anyone in its sights? Let these kids develop their skills in school.

If this restriction was in place at my elementary school, back when I was running the hallways and posting up on lockers, I’d have been expelled and thrown into juvie, possibly even a psych ward. I used to shoot from the hip, mix in double barrels, straight-to-the-temple point blanks, quick draws, even the occasional air-pump-shotgun to the stomach when the situation got a little heated — the whole bag of tricks, man. And when they would have inevitably tried to haul me away in a straight jacket, I’d have stormed out of that place in a hail of finger pistol gunfire.

I understand the sentiment, and need to make a statement. Of course there is going to be some sensitivity on the issue of guns in schools after the Newtown, Connecticut tragedy, but come on, the kid is 6 years old. He was most likely trying to holler at some chick on the jungle gym, and figured that since a good finger-pistoling has worked for so many men before him, what better way to woo the young lady.

My advice to the youngster from a finger-pistoling veteran: holster that thing for now until things blow over, and they will blow over. You have many finger pistol-filled days ahead, my man.

[via NBC Washington]

Image via Daily Dose of Dahl

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Roger_Dorn

Roger Dorn (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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  1. 4
    Donald_Draper

    This school fucked up bad. We need more kids with finger pistols in schools. You know, just in case one of those punks gets too wild, one of the other finger pistol kids can take him out.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      Fratting in 1868

      It’s sad really. I’ll still teach my unborn son how to properly finger pistol but he’ll have to understand that it’s a privilege.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 1
    ice cold frat

    Finger pistol gestures are an obvious detriment to the health and safety of our young children. How dare these kids try to have fun in the school yard.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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