Fail Friday: Total Stalker Moves
Ten real submissions that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Going to the fratcastle at 12:00am and leaving at 12:07am. TSM
–Kansas
So what you’re saying is, he’s pretty much your boyfriend.
Bonding over mutual fratslams. TSM.
–North Carolina
For me, a mutual boy is grounds for illogical hatred and poorly masked judgmental glares. But I guess bonding over the genital warts he gave you is more civil.
Blackballed my best friend. She’s too annoying to be my sister. TSM
–Texas
LYLAS!! (Except not like an actual sister, because you’re annoying and I don’t want anyone to know we’re friends.) BFFL GIRLLL!!!
I hooked up with a guy, but the next day gave his girlfriend a hug cause she’s real nice. TSM
–Texas
Hugs solve everything.
Separating your family tree into “the fratastic and the geeds” TSM
–Michigan
Nothing like cultivating a social hierarchy based on collegiate affiliations to bond the fam at Grandma’s over Sunday dinner.
Stalking your fratdaddy’s ex just so you can devise a plan to have a better Spring Break body than her. And then missing class to go to the gym. TSM
–Tennessee
Ok. He downgraded. I get it.
Making sure you give VP Membership all your ideas for Recruitment before you disaffiliate. TSM.
–Texas
“As a parting gift, I decided to let you in on my ideas on how to make y’all suck less. Bye.”
Putting your clip-in hair extensions on your frat daddys to see what they would look like with long hair TSM
–Missouri
Did he look like he belonged on the cover of a romance novel geared toward 45 year-old divorces who have sandpaper where their vaginas should be? Did you love it?
When you used your facebook stalking skills to look up all the TFM sweethearts. TSM
–Kentucky
There are 56 of them…I’m just gonna let that one sink in for a minute.
Breaking up with your boyfriend via text and then getting him to make all of his brothers help your sorority dominate a philanthropy competition. TSM
–Louisiana
Congratulations. You dated a spineless, man-child who isn’t worthy of his ball-sack. Good for you.
Love,
TSM Intern
- Nice Move 28
- Comments 37
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If you ain’t first, you’re last.
^nope
WHERE ARE THE PICTURES? seriously this is getting annoying
^second. A lack of pictures is a fail itself.
Bama4Obama…whaaaat?? You actually voted for that fool??
lol i know its NF, but yes. and ill vote for him again
^ your only option is suicide
I bet you get a lot of hell for that in Alabama…
^^^kill yourself
Here’s a pic for fail friday, should speak for itself. http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/1158/aggga.jpg
HOLY SHIT where is this?
^looks like Oklahoma?? maybe.
Not far from the ocean, their natural habitat.
My god. This is a horrible representation of OU.
Well, the house looks good.
Agreed. I’d rather fuck the house.
This is horrible… lol
They’re name is Alpha Grabba Doughnut for a reason…
must be phi moo.
*divorcees
Normally I actually enjoy the TSM fail Friday more than the TFM one. Normally.
Motion to blackball TSM intern?
second
all those in favor say “I”
[resounding "I"s]
motion past.
too bad you never “past” hooked on fucking phonics.
passed. thank you for letting me know.
^lace em up
In all fairness the disaffiliation one was probably going to be a pi chi. Otherwise why would she care?
Yes! We call them gamma rhos, but I thought the exact same thing. TSM Intern, you failed
For the one about disaffiliating, I think she meant for recruitment, if she was going to be a rho sigma (or whoever helps PNMs through the recruitment process, then you have to disaffiliate for that week so that you won’t sway PNM’s decisions. If you look at it that way, it’s actually kind of nice.
Congratulations your explanation just won you a golden ticket for PEE IN YOUR BUTT.
^Just died of laughter
hey intern, fuck you.
my name is better than yours
^This