How to Lose a Guy in 10 Ways
Most of us know that there are certain things you shouldn’t do around boys if you’re serious about getting serious with them. Personally, I consider myself an expert at not being able to maintain relationships so I’m just going to cut to the chase and present you with all the things that will tell a guy you are not girlfriend material (as if they need a reason to say no to commitment). Figured I’d let you in on the truth because Kate Hudson didn’t actually lose her guy in the end.
Pointing Out Your Flaws
Never in my entire life has a boy, or anyone else for that matter (besides maybe my mom), pointed out my boney wrists, the birth mark on my thigh, or the irritating fact that I laugh in Minnie Mouse-ish “hehes.” Yet these and any other insecurities are at the forefront of my brain when I’m trying to impress a guy. I’m not sure whether I do it because I want him to know that I know about my flaws “Omg, I laugh so weird, isn’t that so annoying?” Translation: please still like me even though I sound like the fucking most annoying cartoon character EVER any time something is remotely funny. Or maybe I’m looking for him to tell me it’s not true, but these things are SO much on my mind when I’m around him that I have to say it. If you have this problem, I’m here to tell you, STOP. FUCKING. DOING THAT. It definitely comes across as fishing for compliments, and that’s just annoying. Guys are nervous too and when you’re being a social retard it doesn’t give them much to work with. Plus, they would have NEVER noticed the scar on your jawline if you didn’t point it out to them. Why would you lead with “hey, these are all the things that are wrong with me. Take it or leave it Bucko.” My guess is they are going to leave it. No one is interested in signing up for a life where they need to convince you your flaws don’t exist (because they do) and, now that he knows your second toe is longer than your first, how do you ever expect him to recover?
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First.
What I learned from slide 3: Never tell a girl you love her.
They try to hold the psycho in but it’s going to come out one way or another before too long. And if not given a proper venue it could be much worse. And nothing is going to make them more psycho than feeling like they deserve the L word and not being given it.
So either don’t let the relationship get that far and move on to another girl or just do it when it’s appropriate.
The easiest way to lose a guy is to write retarded columns like this.
Hun, don’t get me wrong, I love to fuck. But if sex is so important to you that without it you can’t be in a relationship with the guy… You’re destined to be one of the young divorcees that we’re seeing more and more of. To you it might be NS, but think a little bit – what are you valuing more? Him, or the sex?
Literally no one cares.
Not true, I care. Want to fuck?
^^^Solid name. Now let’s bang it out.
^^^^ A relationship is just really close friendship with sex. If you take away the sex, you just have a really good friend. Except that doesn’t work for any straight man.
Brittany Spears? Are you sure you’re a girl?
It. seems. that. you’re. quite. liberal. with. the periods.
WHAT! I always get yelled at for long sentences.
^No, you get yelled at because you can’t cook. Seriously, how hard is it to poach a goddamn egg properly?
I mean COME ON. That’s like…eggs 101.
Go buy me some sand. I don’t know if they grade it, but… Coarse.
^ No need for that kind of language pal. She’s a nice lady.
^
◀◀◀:) T
R
I
D
E
T
!
Meant to spell tri delt. Whoops
Honestly? Don’t ever attempt that again.
Disclaimer on 3 is true. Put up with a lot less the uglier a girl is
love.
Those butts in the cover picture sure look like they need some pee..
Time to hydrate, need more pee.
The dramatic and ridiculous ones are usually the sexiest
Whoever wrote that list of guys they fucked from different fraternities went to Ole Miss.
well fuck, thats a load off my mind
Kappa Sigma always has the most tally’s.
Why is there a black women in this photo?