Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed Ivy League, what the hell are you doing up there? According to a recent survey conducted through an on-campus sex workshop, apparently about 1/10th of you are moonlighting as prostitutes, because a full 9% of you claim to have taken money for sex. I mean, I know the economy and job market have been in the shitter, but that doesn’t mean selling yourself to pay your way through college is a good alternative.
People don’t think a college student at an Ivy League university would accept payment for sex but I’ve never had asked this question on a college campus and not had ‘yes’ answers,” McDevitt told the Yale Daily News.
It is not clear to what extent the participants in the survey represent the student body as a whole. However, it will come as a shock to many that a significant number of students at an elite Ivy League school have accepted payment for sex, or have engaged in bestiality.
I want to highlight that last line for you, because that line has a pretty ugly word in it: bestiality. That’s right, Yale students are also admitting (3%) to bestiality. Now, I know Yale isn’t exactly located in downtown Charleston, or somewhere else with a fun bar scene or climate not described as “colder than the 8th circle of Hell,” but if you’re so bored and horny that you need to resort to paying another student to fuck you, or sticking your dick in a jar of peanut butter and calling the dog over, you need to re-evaluate your life.
Admittedly, only the students at the workshop were surveyed, so perhaps it was just the kinkiest sample size known to man. That’s a real and valid possibility. The alternative is that it’s a representative sample of the university, which implies some strange things about very intelligent people and their sexual proclivities: most notably that they have some kinks that would make the Marquis de Sade blush.
The event director had this to say on the matter:
Giuliana Berry ’14 told Campus Reform in an interview on Monday that the workshop was brought to campus to teach students not to automatically judge people who may have engaged in these sorts of activities, but rather to respond with “understanding” and “compassion.”
What is this, Animal boners and Prostitutes Anonymous?
During the workshop, McDevitt taught the approximately 40 students that just because people think something is deviant does not mean that it is bad.
“It’s sensitivity training,” McDevitt told Campus Reform. “Don’t judge other people, because we all have something we are embarrassed about.”
Ok, time for an English lesson:
Departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior.
She keeps using that word, but it doesn’t mean what she thinks it means. It’s pretty bad when the least shocking thing out of the whole article is that 52% of the students surveyed had engaged in consensual pain. I suppose the articles could be summed up as “…if that’s what you’re into,” except two of the things are illegal in most states. So, I guess if you want to attend the most definitively sexually degenerate Ivy League school, Yale is your best bet until we get more data. If you do, just watch out for their sexual 1%: students into consensual pain involving animals that you have to pay for.
Image via Yale.edu