Current Events

A Masturbating-Peeping-Tom-Tranny Is Terrorizing The University Of Texas Campus

Me to our interns about half an hour ago: “Will you guys help me search for news stories? It’s been kind of a slow day on the current events front. Get on it. K Thanks.”

Intern John: “Have you heard about the tranny that’s walking around UT campus terrorizing students?”

Me: “How could I, John? I don’t go to school there.”

Intern John: “He’s going around masturbating all over campus, and of course, he’s dressed as a woman. Not sure if he has a dick or vagina, though.”

Me: “Interesting. Prolly still has a penis. Doesn’t sound like the type of move a post-op would pull. They’re a little classier. You know what I mean?”

Intern John: “Yeah.”

Intern Nicole: “Yeah, word’s been spreading around campus. Everyone is freaked out a little bit. He’s also been peeping in people’s windows, scaring people and whatnot. Like a peeping tom.”

Me: “Is that right? Pretty fucked up.”

Intern Emily: “I know someone that came home from class one day and found him sleeping in their backyard.”

Me: “Well shit, guys. Is there anything else you’d like to share about this pervert?”

Interns: (in unison) “No.”

Me: “How long have you guys known about this?”

Intern John: “A couple weeks now.”

…or two weeks ago when the story was breaking. Good for nothing interns.

Here’s a screenshot of the conversation Intern John had with a buddy who encountered the tranny:

Screen shot 2013-09-25 at 3.56.01 PM

And here’s a photo of the tranny:

Screen shot 2013-09-25 at 3.43.39 PM

Lastly, here’s a note that a west campus apartment complex posted to warn its residents of the masturbating-peeping-tom-backyard-crashing-transvestite:

photo 1

Head on a swivel, UT students.

[via our worthless interns]

Image via The Liberty Beat

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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