We all know Australians party hard, but they may have nothing on their dogs.
According to Top News, a less-than seven pound dog named Cleo survived a near death experience by drinking vodka after licking car radiator fluid off of a garage floor.
Usually this process is reversed, and some idiot gets bro-I-just-licked-up-some-radiator-fluid-off-the-garage-floor drunk after too much vodka. Cleo, however, pre-gamed with radiator fluid before downing the grain alcohol antidote.
Like any good parents, or pledges, Cleo’s owners saw the poor, confused, red-eyed animal stumbling around and took it to the hospital. But instead of getting its stomach pumped, they kept the party going.
“They took out vodka from a nurse’s car and applied it as a drip. The little dog had consumed a bottle and half in less than three days.”
Not only is the dog ready to go on a three-day bender, the nurse is ready to facilitate it. Seriously, how awesome is it that a nurse just happened to have a stash of vodka in her car on her way to her job as vet assistant? Trunk liquor always comes in handy, you guys. If there’s anything I know about Australians it’s they’re always ready to fight off kangaroos, and always ready to party.
“The pup was given vodka every six hours for two days through a tube in her nose, drinking almost a bottle and a half in less than 72 hours.”
Forget the dipshit high school kids who take vodka shots to their eyes, vodka nose tube shots are the next big thing with the children civilization has allowed to defy natural selection.
According to the story, vodka was administered because it was the most awesome way to prevent renal failure after the puppy consumed the radiator fluid.
As with nearly any bender, there were witnesses.
“Cleo had really bloodshot eyes and she was pretty unsteady. She couldn’t move around much because she was so wasted.”
Not surprising, seeing as the bottle was probably bigger than the dog itself. Those dumb “BAC Measure” cards the student health care service drops off at the front of the house each semester don’t go below 120 pounds. Imagine the blood alcohol content this six-and-a-half-pound dog had after two days of 30 shots. If a sorority girl were that drunk she’d need a defibrillator with a side of Plan B.
Thankfully it looks like Cleo is back on her feet. Like many crazy nights, this story also has a happy ending.
“(The owner) said the pup had recovered and beaten her hangover the same way we do.
‘She slept a lot and she was eating a lot, but she seems really happy now’.”
I hope that puppy woke up to a double cheeseburger and half a pizza in its dog bowl.
Image via news.com/au