That one brother who is still wandering around at 4am trying to find a heater and a cold one. TFM.
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Being a freshman’s best friend for two weeks, then his worst nightmare for the next 15. TFM.
Finding a lot of things to dislike about your girlfriend as soon as fall semester begins. TFM.
Confidently thinking everyone smaller than you doesn’t lift and everyone bigger than you takes steroids. TFM.
“Who ordered the stripper?” when a female cop knocks on your door about a noise complaint. TFM.
Explaining to the cops that your pledges were all lined up like that because they were doing the Ice Bucket Challenge. TFM.
Intentional, prolonged eye contact with a freshman girl’s father as you offer to help her move in. TFM.