According to PETA Eating Fish and Beating Old Women Are the Same Thing

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This video is PETA’s latest attempt to make you feel guilty for liking delicious things.

That video is RIDICULOUS. I mean, seriously, c’mon. Really? What restaurant has a live fish just sitting on the cutting board like that? Absurd. A lobster I would’ve believed. I don’t know if I’m more impressed with how oblivious PETA is or how badly overacted the entire video was. By the way, whenever I see spousal abuse in a commercial I like to think it’s because the wife made her husband a frozen pizza for dinner. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT DELIVERY!!!”

I’d actually like to start writing videos for PETA if I could. That’s got to be a fun brainstorm session.

Ad Director: Okay guys, we need to make a commercial that really drives home the fact that eating meat is evil. Whad’ya got?

Writer 1: I’m thinking we intercut footage of the Bataan Death March with video of a dog and a shepard herding sheep.

Ad Director: Nice, I like it. What else?

Writer 2: I thought maybe we could have a Jerry Sandusky lookalike order veal at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Ad Director: LOVE IT! Eating veal IS like molesting children. Next.

Writer 3: I don’t have anything concrete but I’m picturing drawing a comparison between like, abortion and scrambled eggs, or something. Maybe like a an abortionist named “Dr. Benedict” and something with eggs benedict. I don’t know, just spitballing.

Ad Director: No it’s cool. I like where your head’s at. Great job guys. Keep up the good work, I gotta go, I’ve got a meeting with the Jewish Defense League. They’re all pissed that we compared a cattle ranch to Dachau.

Seriously, I’d be awesome at that.

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Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email:

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  1. 0
    Wayne Fratsky

    Even though a fish lacks the ability to comprehend the fact that he is helplessly placed on a cutting board in a chef’s restaurant. But keep beating on the elderly, it’s mildly entertaining.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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