According to PETA Eating Fish and Beating Old Women Are the Same Thing

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This video is PETA’s latest attempt to make you feel guilty for liking delicious things.

That video is RIDICULOUS. I mean, seriously, c’mon. Really? What restaurant has a live fish just sitting on the cutting board like that? Absurd. A lobster I would’ve believed. I don’t know if I’m more impressed with how oblivious PETA is or how badly overacted the entire video was. By the way, whenever I see spousal abuse in a commercial I like to think it’s because the wife made her husband a frozen pizza for dinner. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT DELIVERY!!!”

I’d actually like to start writing videos for PETA if I could. That’s got to be a fun brainstorm session.

Ad Director: Okay guys, we need to make a commercial that really drives home the fact that eating meat is evil. Whad’ya got?

Writer 1: I’m thinking we intercut footage of the Bataan Death March with video of a dog and a shepard herding sheep.

Ad Director: Nice, I like it. What else?

Writer 2: I thought maybe we could have a Jerry Sandusky lookalike order veal at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Ad Director: LOVE IT! Eating veal IS like molesting children. Next.

Writer 3: I don’t have anything concrete but I’m picturing drawing a comparison between like, abortion and scrambled eggs, or something. Maybe like a an abortionist named “Dr. Benedict” and something with eggs benedict. I don’t know, just spitballing.

Ad Director: No it’s cool. I like where your head’s at. Great job guys. Keep up the good work, I gotta go, I’ve got a meeting with the Jewish Defense League. They’re all pissed that we compared a cattle ranch to Dachau.

Seriously, I’d be awesome at that.

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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  1. 1
    Wayne Fratsky

    Even though a fish lacks the ability to comprehend the fact that he is helplessly placed on a cutting board in a chef’s restaurant. But keep beating on the elderly, it’s mildly entertaining.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 1
    TrickleDown

    Not only is this commercial stupid, it’s actually really fucking offensive when you think about it.

    Imagine telling someone who was domestically abused, “Yeah what happened to you was about as bad as eating a fish for dinner.”

    Also, vegetarian chicks have tattoos and nipple piercings. I’ll give my meat to a real lady.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • -1
      Old Virginia

      Good point. I would imagine this video and its message would be highly offensive to anyone who has actually experienced any of those things. Fuck PETA

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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