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According to PETA Eating Fish and Beating Old Women Are the Same Thing

This video is PETA’s latest attempt to make you feel guilty for liking delicious things.

That video is RIDICULOUS. I mean, seriously, c’mon. Really? What restaurant has a live fish just sitting on the cutting board like that? Absurd. A lobster I would’ve believed. I don’t know if I’m more impressed with how oblivious PETA is or how badly overacted the entire video was. By the way, whenever I see spousal abuse in a commercial I like to think it’s because the wife made her husband a frozen pizza for dinner. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT DELIVERY!!!”

I’d actually like to start writing videos for PETA if I could. That’s got to be a fun brainstorm session.

Ad Director: Okay guys, we need to make a commercial that really drives home the fact that eating meat is evil. Whad’ya got?

Writer 1: I’m thinking we intercut footage of the Bataan Death March with video of a dog and a shepard herding sheep.

Ad Director: Nice, I like it. What else?

Writer 2: I thought maybe we could have a Jerry Sandusky lookalike order veal at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Ad Director: LOVE IT! Eating veal IS like molesting children. Next.

Writer 3: I don’t have anything concrete but I’m picturing drawing a comparison between like, abortion and scrambled eggs, or something. Maybe like a an abortionist named “Dr. Benedict” and something with eggs benedict. I don’t know, just spitballing.

Ad Director: No it’s cool. I like where your head’s at. Great job guys. Keep up the good work, I gotta go, I’ve got a meeting with the Jewish Defense League. They’re all pissed that we compared a cattle ranch to Dachau.

Seriously, I’d be awesome at that.

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