News

According To Study, Drinking Lots Of Coffee Gives You A Strong Ass Dick

Screen Shot 2015-06-04 at 9.32.57 PM

This explains so much.

On any given work day, I don’t stand up from my desk from about 9:30 in the morning until 11:00-ish because, during that time, I’m usually wrangling a wild lap hog that snuck up on me from under my desk. Now I know why. It’s all the damn coffee I drink out of my penguin/snowman mug (pictured above). Seriously, is that a penguin or a snowman? Nobody knows. It has the little penguin wings, but that’s a carrot nose, is it not? Mind-blowing. Frustrating.

Anyway, a recent study from the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston has revealed that, for men over 20 years old, drinking multiple cups of coffee makes your dick “stronger.” Just gives you a strong ass dick.

From New Now Next:

A study conducted by the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston shows that men over the age of 20 who drink two or three cups of caffeinated coffee report less instances of erectile dysfunction than men who laid off the bean.

One of the authors of the study, Run Wang, explains that caffeine shares many properties with ED medication like Viagra. The stimulant found in both relaxes the arteries, and allows for more blood flow into the penis, causing an erection.

There you have it, you little weak dick bastards. Drink more coffee and get yourself a strong ass dick.

[via New Now Next]

Email this to a friend

Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

48 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More