Actual Sorority Moves
From the About section of ActualSororityMove.org:
Actual Sorority Move (ASM) is a movement that combats the negative stereotypes of “sorority girls” formed by the media, as well as degrading posts on various social networks.
Being in a sorority is about leading a values-driven life; it’s about sisterhood, service, and scholarship. It’s about honoring the women who were brave enough to seek education in a time when college was purely a man’s world. For them, it was about the constant struggle against the status quo–the idea that if you were a woman, you did not deserve an education. They banded together and formed secret societies, which were a place to share their hopes and dreams in a world that was much less than supportive of them.
They ran from and rose above the status quo, and in current times, we are placing ourselves back into it. Let’s be blunt: the media depicts sorority women as outright unintelligent, unclassy, and undeserving of esteem. We want to UN-do this.
Dear Editor of ASM, the male version of the real — or actual — Greek movement has already been attempted. Real Frat Moves was created to combat the negative perception of fraternity members conveyed by the mainstream. RFM was great. RFM was funny. RFM had no sense of humor, and that’s why it was so great and funny. But RFM had a short lifespan, because we had our way with it. Just ravaged the hell out of it.
And here you are now, another emboldened do-gooder trying to re-write the book on Greek stereotypes, satirical stereotypes.
Here are a few posts from the wall:
And this one is probably the greatest example of what the site aims to accomplish by thwarting negative sorority member stereotypes:
Oh, those are fun. They’re so fun, actually, that we want to see more. Being as impatient as we are, waiting for more ASMs to be added to the wall is not in the cards, so the TFM staff decided to help out with material and write some. So, Editor of ASM, feel free to use any of the following ASMs:
Only flushing after going #2 to save our planet’s water supply. #ASM
Allowing him to go 2-hole because you’re saving yourself for marriage. #ASM
Bidding the girl with the thyroid disorder because sisterhood comes in all shapes and sizes. #ASM
Refusing to use your parents’ credit cards because nothing beats that sense of accomplishment that comes from earning your own money, not even a social life. #ASM
I go shopping every other weekend…for toys to donate to the less fortunate. #ASM
I may not have a pretty face, but I have a pretty heart. #ASM
Judging guys by the content of their character, not the color of their credit card. #ASM
Never stalking your boyfriend’s Facebook because it’s disrespectful of his privacy. #ASM
The only thing I’ll blow is my hair dry. #ASM
I don’t even blow my hair. #ASM
It really IS a mutual selection process. #ASM
Sitting on my hand before giving him a handie. That way I can’t feel what I’m doing and it doesn’t count. #ASM
Bidding the really ugly girl so we can give her makeovers. #ASM
Squatting to pee, not squatting to S his D. #ASM
Going to the gym for a nice cardio session, not to be a sex object. #ASM
Making love to him because he holds the door for you, not because he holds your hair when you throw up. #ASM
Only calling your daddy, “daddy.” #ASM
Being the girl he wants to take home to his parents, not upstairs to “take shots.” #ASM
Taking Adderall because you have ADD, not to get skinny and earn your MRS degree. #ASM
Having sex. #NASM. Making love. #ASM
Collecting shacker shirts…to sew into quilts for the homeless. #ASM
Not spending the allowance your father gives you, no matter how big or small, even though he said it is completely okay and that he doesn’t mind, because it’s empowering…or something. #ASM
Showing up to everything sober. EVERYTHING. #ASM
Being so hard to get that I’m never actually gotten. Because they need to know I’m worth it, even though I guess they never actually will. #ASM
Keeping it Classy with a “C” and not a “K,” because sorority women never misspell anything, even ironically. #ASM
Constantly crafting, because idle hands are the devil’s playground, and penises are the jungle gym. #ASM
Making sure philanthropies are fun for no one, even the kids with cancer. #ASM
Living without regret, and having the baby instead of going to the clinic. #ASM
Keeping high standards, not a high brain with cocaine. #ASM