When a stop at the liquor store knocks out 90% of your Christmas shopping. TFM.
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Loudly announcing, “He was masturbating,” any time EMS has to come to the house to treat an injured brother. TFM.
Convincing your parents to spend thousands of dollars so you can drink in a mansion throughout college. TFM.
Telling the pledges you’re giving up hazing for Lent, then reminding them you’re in a Jewish fraternity. TFM.