Apparently Hitler Enjoyed Having Another Human Take A Nice Poop On Him

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Nice Move

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A report from the Daily Star recently stated that everyone’s least favorite Fuhrer took #buttstuff to a whole new level.

Delving into a declassified top secret spy dossier on the Fuhrer, we can reveal that Hitler had a dirty little secret that is truly shocking. Psychological studies compiled by a wartime US intelligence agency reveal the murderous Nazi was into poop sex.

He called the shit poop! Really though, this is one of those really weird fetishes that I just can’t wrap my head around. The report went further to see how the USA found out about Hitler’s truly disgusting fetish.

The faeces fetish may never have been known if it was not for the old war fighting maxim ‘know thy enemy.’ And that’s just what the Allies did, ordering their best minds to create a detailed profile of Hitler. They wanted to find out what made him tick – and what they found probably made them sick. Gathering evidence from informers, Dr Walter C Langer produced an intelligence report called ‘A Psychological Analysis of Adolph Hitler His Life and Legend’… In it Dr Langer concludes Hitler was a coprophiliac – someone who gets horny about turds. Worse still the Nazi nutjob was turned on by a women crouching down over his face and doing a number two into his mouth. And it is thought Adolf acted out his gross sexual fantasy with one of the few women he had sex with – his niece Geli Raubal.

What. The. Fuck.

This is all making way too much sense. Not only did the most evil man in the history of existence have a micro-dong, one nut, and an appetite for ass-custard, he also had his niece drop a deuce right in his kisser. How did nobody, at some point, put a round in this guy’s head before he rose to power?

The great Will DeFries summed it up best.

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I can only hope an army of demons is making him endure the horror of Chipotle and Busch shits right in his ‘stache.

[via DailyStar]

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Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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