Airline Pilot Busted Smuggling 62 Bags Of Cocaine In His Stomach

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When I think of cocaine smuggling, I think of boats coming into Miami in the dead of night, or drug runners clandestinely carrying it across the Rio Grande. Those things seem to be the running stereotype, but a commercial airline pilot bringing narcotics into the United States really doesn’t seem to fit the bill. I guess, when you think about it, that’s why it’s the perfect scheme. Stanley Hill, a 49-year-old pilot from McKinney, Texas, thought so, too.

Hill, who I can only assume was looking to make a few bucks, was smuggling cocaine from Colombia into the United States. Even though he’s a pilot, he wasn’t flying it in. Instead, he was swallowing bags of cocaine and carrying them with him as he traveled from Colombia as a passenger.

It’s not a bad plan. Security personnel wouldn’t think that someone in a pilot’s uniform is carrying anything illegal. Walking through the terminal, there’s really no way for someone to immediately determine whether he’s flying or just riding along, which is probably why he wore his airline uniform on the flight.

Based on what I can see, Hill probably would have gotten away with it all had it not been for one small problem. See, one of the 62 bags of cocaine Hill was carrying in his stomach popped. He freaked out, probably because he knew the potentially deadly effects of directly consuming a metric fuck ton of cocaine, and called 911.

While he did get medical treatment, he also was arrested, which I can only assume is the norm when you tell a 911 operator that a bag of cocaine just exploded inside your stomach. Hill is being charged with felony possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, which doesn’t exactly come with a slap on the wrist. He’ll definitely lose his pilot’s license, and certainly will face some serious jail time.

[via Fox News]

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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