Last night’s BCS National Championship game was a bloodbath. Notre Dame got tuned up something nasty, and the Alabama Crimson Tide rolled on to their 15th* national title, depending on who you ask. It was ugly — but if not for a certain significant other in the stands that the ESPN camera crew fell in love with, and Brent Musburger straight horned out over like the horny old man none of us knew he was — the conversation on this Tuesday would have been the typical “it’s gonna be a long offseason” nonsense.
Meet Katherine Webb, AJ McCarron’s girlfriend. She’s the tall, brunette glass of water pictured above who’s built like a champion thoroughbred, and also goes by the name “Ms. Alabama.”
Take it away, Brent:
She may be a little slow, though, judging by her response time and empty-souled, glazed-over stare here:
Then there’s this kid. Who is he, McCarron’s little brother? Cousin? Nephew? Pervy next door neighbor? I don’t know who the hell he is, but I dig his style. After getting substantial airtime on such an enormous stage while slack-jaw-eye-banging Ms. Alabama’s McCarron jersey right off of her back, you know he’s just strutting through the doorway of his sixth grade classroom today like he’s dragging his hog on the ground behind him. Kid’s gonna be a star.
When you add up Webb’s looks and ensuing ESPN slob job, Musburger wetting himself over her, the sixth grade Don Juan, Barrett Jones shoving his bunkmate, and the Nicktator coming unglued on the sideline while up huge in the final minutes of the natty, the sidebars were more entertaining than the actual football game.
Hell, I had a lot of fun watching it.