There are many different kinds of drunks. There’s the piss-in-the-closet drunk, the angry drunk, the argumentative drunk, the emotional drunk, the pass-out drunk, and of course the classic likes-to-fight drunk. But a new one to me is the break-every-law-possible-before-the-cops-catch-you-and-you-spend-solid-time-in-the-clink drunk. Matthew Anderson Todd, 24, of Boaz, Alabama fits into that last category.
He did it for the story.
Police say it all began when Todd was arrested for DUI after a car crash. He was taken to Marshall Medical Center South for treatment. Police say while at the hospital, he walked out, got into a running ambulance and drove away. They say he later got the ambulance stuck [in the mud] on Barnard Street, but that was just the beginning.
“He walked across a pasture and got into a barn where he tried to saddle up two horses,” says Boaz Assistant Chief Todd Adams. “One was two [sic] wild for him and the other he appeared to be too intoxicated to properly saddle the horse.”
Police say Anderson then stole a car, which he crashed. They say he then stole another car and got away. However, on Saturday police say Anderson started bleeding from his original injuries. He sought treatment back at the hospital, was recognized and then arrested.
In his clearly disconnected, belligerent state, and after being booked on a dewey and soon-to-be ambulance theft charges, imagine how wild that first horse must have been for Todd to have a moment of clarity and think, “Whoa, this fucker’s just a little too out of control for me. I better move on to the next horse.” I want more details on this super horse. Of course he was too drunk to saddle up horse number two, and that’s the Matthew I know.
Amazingly, Todd would have gotten away with this all-timer if his litany of injuries incurred during the night hadn’t flared up on him mid-hangover.
Image via WHNT