Alaska Lawmakers Crack Down On Hazing

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I know what you’re thinking. Alaska has schools? Apparently they do, and lawmakers are pissed at what’s going on in them. In the state that gives a new meaning to the term Eskimo brothers, the legislative body is taking a step most states took decades ago; they are trying to pass bills “that would make hazing a misdemeanor.” If you’ve ever seen a show on the so-called History Channel or the Discovery Channel, you’ll know that everything seems to be “Tougher in Alaska.” If this applies to hazing, I imagine that pledging in Alaska must really suck. I mean, we all remember the time Timothy Treadwell tried to join that Grizzly Bear fraternity, right?

Jonathan Kreiss-Tomkins, who sponsored the bill in the state’s House of Representatives, hopes the Legislature’s work will help bring attention to the issue in Alaska.” I agree with him on this completely. Until reading about this, I had no idea that hazing was a problem at schools in Alaska. Kreiss-Tomkins sponsored the bill “because he was recently a student [and] the issue hits close to home.” Sounds to me like somebody couldn’t take it and had to drop.

The bill also states that anyone who “causes death or serious physical injury” would then be committing felonious hazing. Personally, I’m not sure what activities in Alaska don’t create a risk for death or serious injury. You could get frostbite, hypothermia, or be eaten by a polar bear just by walking down the street. What kind of hazing practices are so bad that they’re deemed more dangerous than polar bears? Seriously.

[via KTUU.com]

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BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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