American, Russian Politicians In Pissing Match Over 2014 FIFA World Cup

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Last week, two U.S. Senators wrote a letter to FIFA President Sepp Blatter, asking that Russia be expelled from the 2014 World Cup. They also asked FIFA to strip Russia of its right to host the 2018 tournament, in response to Russia’s unlawful occupation of Ukraine’s Crimean peninsula.

In an open letter from Republicans Mark Kirk of Illinois and Dan Coates of Indiana, the two argued that such action had been taken for similar circumstances, citing Yugoslavia’s expulsion from the the 1994 World Cup after military aggression.

“Since Russia has similarly displayed a brazen disrespect for fundamental principles of Fifa and international law, [we] hope you will agree that it doesn’t deserve the honour of either hosting the World Cup or participating in one. We ask that a more deserving World Cup 2018 bid should be re-considered instead,” said the letter.

Coates took to CNN last Thursday, comparing Putin and the Ruskies to Hitler and Nazi Germany in the 1920s and ’30s.

So in come two Ruskies from the Duma, which is apparently Russian for Parliament or something. They ended up drafting their own letter to Blatter, disputing that the United States’ involvement in Yugoslavia, Iraq, Libya, and Syria warranted our own dismissal from the tournament. Really original argument, you guys.

“It’s an eye for an eye, a ball for a ball,” they said, in what I assume was broken English–they sound kind of like “Die Hard” villains. “Don’t the let the USA take part in the 2014 World Cup! End their membership of FIFA’s 2014 World Cup in Brazil.”

I think we could probably write this one up as a draw, but I’ll give a very narrow victory to the Americans for originality.

[via The Guardian, Fox Sports]

Nathaniel Light is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move. Nate spends his free time drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and covering his food in chili and cheese. This has led to slight weight gain, but he has been told that he resembles a "J. Crew model ten pounds overweight." It was either the nicest insult or the meanest compliment he has ever received. His picture is a metaphor, but it actually happened.

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