America’s Favorite Liquor Is About To Change

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Chalk it up as yet another win for America, guys. Our nation’s preferred choice of liquor is projected to change, and you’re all big fans of the soon-to-be favorite.

I don’t know why, but for whatever reason, vodka has been the most popular spirit in this country for a while. To me, that’s offensive. It’s just not right. Vodka is downright unpatriotic. Sure, there are some great brands made right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A., but they just don’t hold a candle to the American awesomeness of the new national favorite, or really, what has always truly been the national favorite: whiskey.

I’m not a vodka fan at all. With the exception of a well-made Bloody Mary, I hardly touch the stuff. Sure, we all know that one guy who is really into vodka sodas, but for the most part, I think we can all agree that whiskey is a superior beverage. It’s got taste, it’s got style, and it’s got a lot of history to it. Compare that to your triple-distilled rubbing alcohol. There’s no competition.

I’m not the only one out there with this mindset. Experts predict that whiskey will overtake vodka as the most popular liquor in the United States sometime this year. According to an analyst from Credit Suisse, it’s because of whiskey’s “authenticity, heritage, and taste.” You’re damn right it is.

Vodka has its time and place, of course. It’s good for a wide variety of mixed drinks, it comes in a myriad of flavors, and when it comes down to it, its versatility is simply unmatched. While those are all good qualities, they don’t hold up to what makes whiskey so good. I’m talking about that rough edge with a smooth finish, that warmth that fills your body with each sip, and the sense of the raw yet still refined taste that keeps you refilling your glass.

So, rejoice, America. Whiskey is back, and it’s here to stay. Then again, who the hell wasn’t drinking whiskey?

Raise your glass, gentlemen. Here’s to whiskey.

[via Newser]

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BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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