America’s Favorite Porn Star Is Retiring

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It’s a sad day on the internet. Lisa Ann is retiring from the smut game. Throw the old jack rag into the wash, you’re never gonna see her in porno again.

The 42-year-old posted a 10-page letter to Facebook explaining that she’s retiring once the calendar turns to 2015. Of course, the old mainstays on YouPorn and PornHub will still be there, but your spank bank won’t be seeing any new stuff from the queen of MILFs anytime soon.

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That’s a real shame. She was a fine wine that only got better with age. Those hammers are timeless and to see a 42-year-old keep her body in that kind of shape is always praiseworthy.

She’s now pursing a career in fantasy football. Yeah, I know. If only we were all so lucky.

So, who will take her place atop the semen-soaked throne of porn? Christy Mack was a good bet, but her ex-boyfriend rearranged her face this summer. Jenna Jameson’s been out of the game for years. Sara Jay is a strong candidate, but my money is on Gianna Michaels. That chick is…enthusiastic about her profession.

Here’s to the next generation of spank minxes.

[via UPROXX]

Image via Instagram

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