News

Amish Teens Turn Up To Infinity While Smoking And Drinking On 110 MPH Rumspringa Joy Ride

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That’s a busy headline, I realize, but when a group of 16 and 17-year-old little Amish brats pile into a 2001 Dodge Caravan and tear down the highway at 110 MPH while sipping Wild Turkey and burning mad heaters, you just kind of have to deliver those kind of details upfront. Someone had to have added 20 MPH for the story, though, because no way in hell a 2001 Dodge Caravan is touching 110, but I don’t hate the move.

From FOX News:

Troopers said that as they caught up with the speeding vehicle, they observed the teens throwing alcoholic beverages out of the windows.

When the teens pulled over, the troopers smelled a strong odor of alcohol coming from the vehicle.

They searched the minivan and found a large “jug” of whiskey, cases of beer and other bottles of alcoholic beverages.

The 17-year-old driver, who only had a learner’s permit, had been drinking, as had two female passengers, ages 16 and 17, and two 16-year-old boys.

The driver faces charges for reckless driving, a person under 21 operating a vehicle with a blood alcohol concentration level between .02 and .08, minor consumption of alcohol, littering, learner’s permit violation, speeding, and unlawful possession of tobacco.

I wanted so badly for them to have been found sipping lean or with a couple blunts stuffed between the seats and take this story to another level, but it’ll do. And I can have fun with it because everyone was okay, so get off me.

An underrated part of this story is how the authorities had a hard time getting in touch with the kids’ parents after they were brought in, seeing as how they’re Amish and live basically off the grid. No phone. No internet. No beeper. Not shit. They’re never going to read this article, either.

Hey maybe the parents never even find out. Ha. These little shits would have a lifetime of “remember Rumspringa when we got thrown in the clink for breaking like a million laws and our folks never found out?” stories. It’s just funny to think about.

[via FOX News]

Image via Shutterstock

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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