An Ode To The Ol’ Ball Coach

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The college football world is in shambles. That thundering earthquake you heard earlier today wasn’t Baylor’s 400-pound tight end getting tackled in practice; it was the announcement that ATO fraternity member and living legend, Steve Spurrier, is stepping away from coaching. This is the same man who was quoted earlier this season saying, “The Pope is 77 years old and he’s in charge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field.” I, for one, am sad. College football is losing one of its greatest icons to ever roam the sidelines, both as a coach and a player. Now we honor the man the world knows as The Ol’ Ball Coach with a touching tribute.

On April 20th, 1945, a baby named Steve Spurrier graced the world with his awesome presence. And on that date, the world changed for the better. It’s no coincidence that Adolf Hitler killed himself ten days later and WWII ended later that year. That is the power of Spurrier. From a young age, Steve grew to live and breathe football. He was an all-state and all-American QB in high school in which he parlayed into a spot on the University of Florida football team.

His days as a Gator were littered with numerous awards, including the 1966 Heisman. But the coolest story related to his college playing days came about when the Gators were tied with Auburn late in the 1966 game. Tied at 27, the Gators starting kicker was trotting out to try a 40-yard game-winning field goal when Steve waved him off and said, “I got this,” before nailing the field goal himself and giving the Gators a win. Big. Balls.

After college, he moved on to the NFL and played with San Francisco and Tampa Bay for ten years. Then it was time to address his true calling: coaching, and trolling Tennessee football. Heck, the man is credited for giving the nickname “The Swamp” to Florida’s home field. While his on-field successes as a player and as a coach were great in their own right, it was what he did off the field that made Spurrier such a likable character. His laissez-faire, no fucks given approach to the media and quotability made him a legendary character of the game.

On Jerking Off His Players

On College Football Gambling Needing A Shake Up

He On Playing Georgia Early In The Season

“I don’t know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.”

Classic Tennesee Trolling

“You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.”

“I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.”

In-State Rival FSU Was Even In OBC’s Crosshairs

“You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University.”

When Asked About The Auburn Football Dorm Fire That Destroyed 20 Player’s Textbooks

“But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”

Love it. The man had no filter, and for good reason. He’s Steve fuckin’ Spurrier. He can say whatever the hell he wants to say. The Ol’ Ball Coach was known to be a workout fiend, too. Even at 70 years of age, he’d hit the iron hard, giving him the confidence to do all those practices shirtless.

He also gave us these gems:

The college football world will miss you dearly, Steve. From your golden mouth behind the mic to your annual trips to Arby’s after SEC Media days, there will be no replacing you. If one thing is for certain, we’ll still be able to catch you hanging in the infield at a NASCAR race, shirtless, and holding a cooler full of brews. Godspeed, sweet prince.


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