Anthony Davis Trademarks Unibrow

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Nice Move

Many know Anthony Davis as the national champion center/power forward for the Kentucky Wildcats and soon-to-be first overall pick of the NBA draft. However, we all know him as that kid with the disgusting, repulsive, “Why doesn’t he pluck that fucker?” unibrow.

Well, he’s not going to pluck it. Actually, it would appear he is rather proud of it, despite its resemblance to the second cut at the U.S. Open. Anthony Davis has officially trademarked his unibrow, including the phrases “Fear the Brow” and “Raise the Brow.” Put me down for the camp that: 1. didn’t know you could lay legal claim to the rights of a body part, and 2. doesn’t understand why Davis would want to promote such a disturbingly hideous attribute.

“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it,” Davis told CNBC. “Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”

There are a couple points I want to bring up for the Davis family. First of all, people can’t just up and decide and grow a unibrow. It’s one of those things that typically comes in naturally, similar to chest hair. Most guys can grow it. Some guys just can’t. It’s nature. Secondly, no one wants to grow a goddamn unibrow.

Let’s wait and see if this announcement spawns similar trademarks in the near future. Maybe that man with the 100 lb. scrotum wants to trademark his monster sack before someone else tries to grow one and make a buck off of it.


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