I was but a wee freshman when I first heard about an ABC party. I was immediately excited. I was even more excited when I found out ABC stands for “Anything But Clothes” (though I was looking forward to a mean Scrabble sesh). Then my excitement was knocked back down again when I found out “Anything But Clothes” doesn’t mean “completely naked” – it actually means getting almost naked and then wrapping your genitals in garbage. Still kind of hot, though. And still the most naked you’ll get a female guest without showing her your fish tank first. So I recommend throwing one. I also recommend checking out these costume ideas.
1. The Dick In A Box
It’s my dick in a box! My dick in a box guuurl. Just a classic go-to for guys at an ABC party. You know the song:
1: Cut a hole in a box.
2: Put your junk that bo-o-ox.
Make her open the box. Ask her to sign a waiver stating that the female party consents to witnessing whatever may be enclosed within the box, including but not limited to penis (flaccid or otherwise) and testes.
And that’s the way you dooo it!
2. Caution Tape
Not only is a caution tape costume incredibly easy to make, but it also gives the ladies a much-needed heads up. Your body is a jackhammer. Be careful in the construction zone, babe. Hard hat optional – for both heads.
3. Trump Sign
Because at least one girl at the party will want to tear it down.
Technically still clothes. But it’ll pass if you’re lazy and/or pressed for time. It also works because frat.
Take the apron you usually save for grillin’ up burgs on game day and throw it over your naked body. The hunnies can still peek the dangle if they catch you from behind, so make sure you frequently drop things and take your sweet time picking them back up. To sell the look, grab an apron with a humorous, douchey slogan like “You Don’t Have To Kiss The Cook, But Bring Him A Beer” or “Mr. Good Lookin’ Is Cookin’” or “Free Hot Dog: Bring Your Own Buns” (with an arrow pointing down).
6. Inflatable Pool Toy
“Hey, girl, you tryna get wet?”
7. A Diaper
Bonus: if you get hammered and shit the bed, you’re covered.
8. Beer Can Vest And Belt/Beer Box Armor
You don’t just drink. You fucking crush brews. And with this costume, everyone will know it. Attach a few extra empties to the belt so you can rip one off, shout “GRENAAADE!” and chuck it at a pledge, who must then jump on it to sacrifice himself for the lives of others. Add a beer can wizard staff accessory to cast a spell on the bad bitches (they also get longer and longer as the night progresses). Spartan helmets/girdles carved out of empty 30 racks are cool, too.
9. Twister Mat
Right hand green.
10. Sticky Notes
To maximize this costume’s potential, write challenges on each sticky note, like “make out with a stranger” or “take a body shot.” If someone completes the challenge, remove the sticky note. It’s kind of like the signs girls wear on their 21st, but opposite.
Power moves only..