Apparently There Are Lots of Lactating Women at the University of Iowa

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This according to HuffPost College who, when ranking the best universities to attend as a parent, listed the state of Iowa’s flagship university due to their impressive lactation facilities. The university of Iowa has thirty one lactation rooms on campus. THIRTY ONE. How many women are breast feeding at any given time at that school? Do the streets of Iowa City run white with the milk of new Iowan mothers? If I go to the most popular Thursday night bar in Iowa City can I order a Caucasian with human milk?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that there are lactation rooms, I have no problem with this idea. In fact I’m sure they’re quite convenient for young mothers who otherwise would be breast feeding their child in a lecture hall bathroom while two sorority sisters take turns vomiting up last night’s tequila shots one stall over. Although as far as the sorority girls are concerned, a 20-something mother breast feeding her child is the perfect early morning reminder to pop their Plan B’s.

But like I said, the idea is fine, it’s just that the number of rooms seems out of proportion. But hey, what do I know? They could all be completely necessary. Also, how has no fraternity played a prank involving one of these rooms? The fact that there hasn’t been a pledge dressed up as a baby waiting outside a lactation room door with an empty bottle, soliciting for milk shows a real lack of effort, Iowa.

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