Arizona Cardinals D-End Invites Miss Alabama Katherine Webb To First Date At A Strip Club

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”That Katherine Webb is one piece of ace. I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean.”

Not since that cocktease Helen Keller of Troy incited a war between Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom has there been such an outpour of fiery passions over a beautiful girl.

After our ol’ pal Brent Musburger introduced Katherine Webb, the love interest of Alabama quarterback Katherine Webb’s boyfriend, to the world, various young men have taken to Twitter in vain attempts to win the heart of the former Miss Alabama pageant queen. After all, nothing says “love” quite like 140 characters or less of what can hardly be considered English.

One technologically-disinclined suitor, Arizona Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett, took to a less subtle route in his courtship, and attempted to send Miss Webb an invite via Direct Message to Miami’s finest gentlemen’s club.

– @_KatherineWebb aye u going to king of diamonds Monday after game?

– Aye @_KatherineWebb hit me (XXX) XXX-XXXX when game over, lets go to wing stop then King of diamond

Upon realizing that he had sent out his phone number to the entire Twittersphere, Dockett later deleted the tweets. He then attempted to shrug off his mistake, because why stop digging when you’ve already burrowed yourself into a gigantic hole in front of the entire Internet?

Dockett’s Twitter bio reads as follows: Love the LORD! #90 of the Arizona Cardinals, CEO of the Birdgang, Proud Father, and a 100% Grade A Go Getta!, reaffirming what Christians have known for millenia: Lord loves the workin’ man, as well as a good titty bar.


Image via Fox News


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  1. ice cold frat

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    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago