Arizona State University SAE Blows BAC of .47 Percent, Brothers Drop Him Off At Hospital With Post-It Note (Update: Student In Question Weighs In)

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Nice Move

All this time we thought the worst thing some asshole you trusted could do was dump you with a Post-it note. It turns out, the worst thing some asshole you trust can do is dump you at the hospital with a Post-it.

A 19-year-old SAE at ASU recently engaged in a drinking competition of sorts, during which he took an estimated 20 shots of tequila. Gross. Needless to say, it got him pretty drunk. So drunk, in fact, that he started shaking and turning blue. Rather than immediately bringing their brother to the hospital, for fear of the legal consequences, his friends took the boy to their homes to try to give him medical attention on their own. Usually, guys who are almost as wasted as their unconscious fraternity brother can remedy situations such as these, because one among them has typically bullshitted his way through Anatomy 101, rendering him an expert in the field of medicine. Surprisingly, this group of wasted frat boys had no such luck.

They finally brought him to Tempe St. Luke’s Hospital between 1:00AM and 2:00AM. Again, fearing the ramifications, the boys did not want to reveal themselves to the authorities or hospital officials, so they dropped him off in the emergency room, sat him in a wheelchair, and left a Post-it note:

”I’ve been drinking and I need some help.”

Clearly, they’re not ones to spare details. Luckily, it wasn’t long before the student received medical attention. His BAC had reached .471 percent. For a frame of reference, .08 percent is the legal limit, .5 percent is dead. Police are still investigating and are unsure whether the drinking competition took place at a fraternity-sanctioned event. Criminal charges may be pressed. Yikes.

So, his fraternity brothers are pretty much the worst friends in the world, but to be fair, I do think that more universities should adopt amnesty policies for people who responsibly handle alcohol-related hospitalizations. “Hey, we promise you won’t get in trouble, if you promise not to let your friends die of alcoholism.” It’s not so much to ask, and it will eliminate the need to have Post-it notes on hand. Win-win.

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***UPDATE***

The student in question weighed in on the incident via Facebook, refuting many of the claims formerly made by the media. He posted the following status.

Update

[via CBS and Fox]

Image via Fox

***

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of TSM for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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