“You see, son? We’re gonna take care of you here at the University of Arkansas. We have a top-of-the-line weight room, academic tutors, *cough* sniperteam8 *cough* and fantastic dining halls,” Razorbacks head coach Bret Bielema stammers as he attempts to snag a high-profile recruit.
Leave it to Arkansas to take the right to bear arms to a whole nother level. A new law in the state allows people to carry concealed firearms on college campuses, including, yes, the University of Arkansas and all Razorbacks football games. In fallout, snipers at the top of Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium appears to be a very real possibility, according to a state representative.
Hang on. Someone refresh my memory. The movie The Longest Yard… that wasn’t based on true events, right?
This seems rather aggressive on both sides. For one, I’m not super pumped about the idea of wearing a visiting team’s jersey in a stadium filled with drunk, locked-and-loaded Razorbacks fans whose expectations for their teams year-in and year-out are just wayyy too high. You went to the Belk Bowl this year and lost it. It’s time to lower your expectations.
On the flip side, snipers chilling at the top of the stadium would be quite the sight. Opposing running back breaks away for a would-be 90-yard touchdown? Pow. Redefining blowing out your knee, one snipe at a time. That wouldn’t be the first time someone was sniped in Fayetteville, either…
They shot him right there; right in the middle of the street. Crazy.
Please make this happen, Razorbacks football. It’ll be hilarious..
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