Ask Intern Sydney

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Nice Move

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Good news: Your favorite intern is back from Europe and ready to answer all your questions. Hope you all did’t miss me too much.

1. I was thinking about joining a fraternity in college but I can’t seem to make up my mind. I went to a private catholic high school that was full of stuck up white kids and their constant ignorance of people different than them. Because I’m black, part of my hesitance on joining a fraternity is because I dealt with constant jokes about my race throughout high school. I was wondering if the same type of people may be in a fraternity or if this behavior is less common in college. What would your opinion be on joining a fraternity as a minority?

We need to break this stereotype that all greek life members are “stuck up white kids.” Sure, some schools do represent this, but most do not. I don’t think there’s a single fraternity or sorority on my campus that isn’t racially diverse with members from all backgrounds. At least give rush a chance and if you hate it, you don’t have to pledge. You’ll still meet people through the process.

2. My question is, I’ll be an incoming freshmen come fall, I know I am going to rush but I am not sure if I should rush in the fall or wait till 2nd semester. Do you have any advice for me on what I should do?

No one likes a spring pledge.

3. Do you find that Jean Paul Sartre’s belated denunciation of Soviet brutality invalidates his contributions to ethical theory? Further, do you believe that a man should be judged by his greatest moral failures or his greatest moral achievements?

Honestly only posting this because your gmail photo is the couple from Little People Big World and that’s funny as hell.

4. My best friend can’t reel in a girl and it’s kinda making me depressed. He’s had a girlfriend but she dumped him after two weeks and she looked like a truck(definite 3/10). He hit on a girl at our last party while being shitfaced and she was sober. She literally ran away from him. Do you have any advice I could tell him to be a little smoother with the girls?

I always get questions asking for advice on how to talk to girls. There isn’t a secret. If you’re bad at talking to girls, you’re probably just bad at talking to anyone. Girls like confidence and a guy that isn’t afraid to make fun of himself. The guy who’s dancing like an idiot at the party is probably going to get laid while you stand against the wall and make conversation with some girl about her major.

5. I love how you act like such a prick and are always overly sarcastic responding to everyone questions. Your trying to shy away from the “typical” attractive blonde girl. And all the idiotic people that read this site love it because their fucking idiots and 50% attend community colleges. Now I don’t know if your responses show your true personality but reading them makes you come off as a trashy low life scum. And if you decide to post this, which I’m confident you won’t because this is probably is very emotionally turning for you, you will point out some stupid little thing like my email adress I made to send this or a spelling error. You might also call me a butt hurt high schooler. The truth is I just got done taking the ACT today and am still speeding on vyvance and reading you responses wants to make me throw up, eat it, throw up again, and then come to your fucking shit apartment and dispense it all on your front doorstep. Either way, you are not as cool as you think you are, you work at TFM. Which I guess would be cool for a 13 year old but I hope to god you have higher aspirations then working for sweaty adults who never quite did anything with their life after college. I hope this email helps you realize how stupid and arrogant you come off as.
I do look forward to a response from you to see what you think about all of this. I’m sure it will be very bitter and ignorant

I love my fans. To save you all 60 seconds of your life I’ll highlight some of the key parts to this email.

“Trying to shy away from the typical attractive blonde girl”
“trashy low life scum”
“this is probably emotionally turning for you”
“high schooler”
“I just got done taking the ACT today and am still speeding on vyvance”

Just to point out my favorites. Also, you’re saying you hate TFM but you’re on the website reading one of the articles? Also, you’re in high school. Also, you made a fake email address with a fake name so I couldn’t look you up and rip you apart. Also, I hope you failed your ACT and don’t get into college.

6. Dear Sydney,
I know you are abroad at the moment, but I would really appreciate if you would answer this whenever you get the time. I am a high school boy and I don’t wanna have sex until I’m married for religious reasons, but I still wanna have fun and join a frat in college. I’m really low key about it and I don’t give a damn what others do, but I am wondering the feasibility of being in a frat (and preferably being well liked) while also remaining chaste.

I just found out a guy friend of mine going into his senior year of college is a virgin and none of his friends even know. As long as you don’t make it a public thing you’ll be fine and can easily have a fun time without having sex.

7. Sorry for the random subject, I just didn’t want it to be something boring like “men” or “sports”. My question is: Would you rather date a guy who plays football, hockey, basketball or soccer.

Hell if you’re playing any sport at all, I’ll be happy. Dad bod epidemic needs to end.

8. I just read your article and you seem like a pretty cool girl so I figured I’d send you a question. To describe myself, I’m a pretty good looking guy, built/fit, smart, and athletic with a sense of humor. Anyway I was wondering what the best way to approach beautiful girls like yourself is on a college campus. I commute to my college and I never tried to join a frat. I don’t have any problem picking up girls in a bar or party situation, but I find myself having a difficult time when I’m sober going to class on campus. Just looking for some advice I guess.

You’re probably having a difficult time picking up girls on the way to class because they’re literally going to class. When I’ve got 48 seconds to sprint half a mile across campus, the last thing I want is to get hit on by some random dude. The hell is wrong with you.

9. Want to go to Miami tomorrow? I will show you a great time. I would get you your own room and treat you like a princess. I will be a perfect gentleman. I am a 35 year old looking for a fun sugar baby. Anyway, we will be having a blast on South Beach and I would love for you to join. Email back for details.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the fact there are people out there like this or the fact there are girls out there that would actually accept this offer.

10. I’m going to be starting college in August. What are a few things you wish you would have known before going to college that you had to figure out on your own?

Stay single your freshman year. Don’t date anyone that will hold you back. A good memory will always trump a good test grade. The people you’re friends with freshman year probably won’t be the same people you’re friends with senior year. Be “the stupid freshman” at every party because you’ll miss when that’s not acceptable anymore. Learn your drinking limit. Only surpass it on few occasions.

11. You’re always saying kinda jokingly (I think??) that your plan for the future is marrying a super rich guy and never really doing any work. My question is how much does that really matter to you like if you meet the perfect dude in terms of looks and personality would you not date/consider marrying him just because he’s super poor? BTW your sense of humor is fucking lit

Alright I may have said I plan on marrying rich, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit on my ass eating bon-bons all day. I fully plan on working and making my own money, because I’m more than aware of the legally binding contract called a prenup. I’m not going to marry someone solely because he’s rich, but I know what kind of life I want for myself and that includes being comfortable in terms of living.

12. Would you rather wear all red and high heels and participate in the running go the bulls or continue to be asked on another formal by the randoms that follow TFM?

Well typically I’d say bull running, but I got dumped yesterday, so bring on the formal invites, boys.

13. What are your thoughts on Pokemon Go?

Two days ago I said I’d never download it, but then I felt left out and now I can’t stop catching them all.

Send your own questions to Sydney@totalfratmove.com or @woysydney on Twitter.