ATO At James Madison University Lost Their Charter For The Dumbest Reason Ever

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Nice Move

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Some chapters deserve to have their charters revoked — Oklahoma SAE comes to mind. But, more often than not, mildly-troubled fraternities are over-punished and under-equipped to defend themselves against said punishment in the anti-Greek world we live in. This leads to many undeserving chapters receiving full-on termination rather than just a slap on the wrist.

What happened to James Madison University’s Alpha Tau Omega chapter is a prime example of universities’ unwillingness to work with troubled fraternities.

From The Breeze:

Adam Lindberg, the associate director of Fraternity and Sorority Life, in conjunction with the Office of Residence Life and the fraternity’s national headquarters revoked, ATO’s charter at JMU on Nov. 19, 2015. According to Lindberg, this was due to violation of FSL policies.

According to a text message sent from Jake Merhige, a junior intelligence analysis major and the former president of the Kappa Zeta chapter of ATO, the fraternity was discharged after being reported for hosting a cookout with alcohol for Family Weekend.

While it’s true that ATO was already on social probation for an earlier incident, and having alcohol at the cookout broke the terms of that probation, the circumstances here have got to fall into the category of an exception. What did you want the ATOs to do, have a dry cookout for family weekend? The only reason I ever brought my parents up to see me at school was for two reasons: to show them how much I can drink, and to steal money from their wallets after they passed out from not being able to keep up with me. A family weekend sans alcohol is worse than no family weekend at all.

After consulting world-famous IFC J-Board defense attorney and middle-aged cokehead Dick Filibuster, Esq., I’ve come up with the defense that the ATOs should have used. You see, if they had claimed that the alcohol was for the parents, who are of legal age and are not members of the chapter, they would have gotten off scot-free. Furthermore, Mr. Filibuster firmly believes that if the brothers had replaced the alcohol at the event with cocaine or crystal meth, there would have been no inquiry into any potential wrongdoing at all.

Welcome to a world in which being in a fraternity means that neither you or your family members are allowed to drink alcohol.

[via The Breeze]

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