ATTENTION SPRING BREAKERS! There’s A Syphilis Outbreak In Las Vegas

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Unless you want chancre sores or nasty ass rashes, I suggest you either avoid Las Vegas for Spring Break or stay totally celibate while you’re there. Local health officials say there’s an outbreak of syphilis running rampant and there is “no plateau at this point.”

Yeah, choosing a different place and losing your deposit is going to be the better choice.

From KSNV:

The Southern Nevada Health District has identified a 128-percent increase in reported syphilis cases in Clark County since 2012 and is now considering the increase to be an outbreak of early syphilis cases, according to a news release.

‘Syphilis can be a serious illness,’ SNHD epidemiologist Dr. Tony Frederick said.

Frederick says the cases of syphilis in Clark County have exploded over the past three years.

The increase is seen mostly among men with 615 of the 694 cases diagnosed in 2015. Early syphilis is an infection that has been acquired within the previous 12 months.

‘We are considering this an outbreak because disease rates in our community are continuing to climb and we see no plateau at this point,’ said Dr. Joe Iser, SNHD’s chief health officer.

Well, that’s sounds horrific.

Las Vegas has long been a respectable Spring Break option. You’ve got warm weather, gambling, drinking, fast cars, expensive rooms, pool parties, prostitutes and more. It’s not for the faint of heart, though (or the ballers on a budget). Drink prices generally aren’t cheap and you’ll see some shit along the way but if you can hang, you’ll be hanging with the best of them.

Still, the thought of getting a painful red bump on your pecker makes even the biggest of shlongs shutter.

Now, you might think avoiding the gutter skanks and prostitutes will help reduce your chances of catching the notorious STD. Not so fast!

According to health officials, new-aged dating apps like Tinder, Blendr, and Grindr may be partly to blame. The ease of access often leads to anonymous sexual encounters, a practice that could end up putting your health at risk.

You hear that? You damn kids and your damn smartphones are what’s spreading your damn dick diseases around.

This is probably a good time to try and promote a TFM, non-syphilis infested spring break destination. We’ve gotta keep the lights on here somehow, right?

On the bright side, I looked it up and you can’t get an STD from a foam party. Yes, I’m here to feed you some knowledge, baby birds. So enjoy this video about syphilis:

Remember: Your body is a wonderland. A nasty, disgusting, disease-infested wonderland, but still a wonderland.

[via KSNV]

Image via littleny / Shutterstock.com

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