Telling her, "My people will call your people" when she asks for your number in the morning. TFM.
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Or you do what I usually do and give her the number of the brother you hate the most.
Int. Day – Cafeteria
(Shot of Kevin and Paul carrying their trays toward the camera.)
Lunch. At last, something I figured even I couldn’t screw up.
(They slow up and glance around the cafeteria.)
(Shot from Kevin’s perspective of the crowded cafeteria.)
(Shot of Kevin and Paul.)
PAUL: Where do you want to sit?
(Kevin looks off.)
KEVIN: Anywhere. (Shrugs.) Let’s just sit here.
(The camera pans with them as they walk to a nearby table.)
A suburban junior high school cafeteria is like a microcosm of the world.
(Close shot of Kevin as he sits down.)
The goal is to protect yourself, and safety comes in groups.
(Shot from Kevin’s perspective of a group of kids at another table.)
You have your cool kids…
(Shot from Kevin’s perspective of another group of kids, all wearing glasses.)
You have your smart kids…
(Shot from Kevin’s perspective of another group of kids, most wearing dark clothes.)
You have your greasers…
(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)
And in those days, of course…
(Shot from Kevin’s perspective of another group of kids, mostly wearing paisley, headbands, and dark glasses.)
You had your hippies.
(Close shot of Kevin looking off, frowning slightly.)
And, in fact, in junior high school…
(Kevin glances down at his tray.)
Who you are is defined less by who you are…
Than by who’s the person sitting next to you.
(Kevin looks at Paul off-screen.)
(Close shot of Paul sucking spaghetti.)
A sobering thought.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)
KEVIN: Try to look like you’re having fun. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Paul frowning at Kevin off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking down and frowning slightly.)
(Shot of Winnie in the distance, holding her tray, looking for a place to sit. Some “Winnie’s Theme” plays as she approaches the camera.)
WINNIE: Hi! Do you guys mind if I sit with you?
(Shot of Kevin and Paul. Paul looks at Kevin and they both smile at Winnie off-screen.)
KEVIN: Sure, Winnie.
(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin as she sits down.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen.)
We were on our way.
(Kevin glances toward Paul off-screen.)
Our group was forming.
(Close shot of Winnie looking toward her tray.)
And Winnie – I mean, Gwendolyn…
(Winnie looks at Kevin off-screen and smiles slightly.)
Was not chopped liver.
(Close shot of Winnie smiling slightly at Kevin off-screen.)
Maybe we even had an outside chance to become…
(Winnie looks down.)
The cool seventh-grade group…
If we could just remain inconspicuous…
(Close shot of Paul looking over his shoulder, first one way then the other.)
Until we picked up a few more members.
(Shot from Kevin’s perspective of Wayne and his friend, Steve, standing near another table, then approaching. “Winnie’s Theme” ends.)
WAYNE: Hey Steve…
(Close shot of Kevin sighing, looking down, and putting his hand on the bridge of his nose.)
WAYNE (V/O): It looks like my baby brother…
(Closer shot of Wayne and Steve approaching and pausing just behind Winnie.)
WAYNE: And his girlfriend have found each other. (Laughs.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)
KEVIN: She’s not my girlfriend. (Frowns.)
(Wayne looks at Kevin off-screen but talks to Winnie.)
WAYNE: He thinks you are so…cute!
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen as he tries to control his anger.)
KEVIN: I don’t think she’s cute. (Frowns.)
(Shot of Wayne, Steve and Winnie. Wayne leans slightly toward Winnie, who looks down.)
WAYNE: He wants to give you a big…
(Wayne looks at Kevin off-screen.)
(Close shot of Winnie looking down.)
WAYNE (V/O): Kiss.
(Winnie looks at Kevin off-screen as Wayne makes sucking noises.)
(Shot of Wayne, Steve and Winnie. Wayne is looking at Kevin off-screen with his mouth open. Winnie is looking down. Wayne smiles.)
(Wayne looks at Winnie.)
WAYNE: He told me.
KEVIN: You liar! (Frowns.) I never said that!
(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.)
KEVIN (V/O): I don’t want to kiss her!
(Shot of Kevin and Paul. Kevin stands and picks up his apple.)
KEVIN: I don’t even like her! (Frowns.)
(Kevin turns away.)
(Wide shot through the cafeteria door of Kevin approaching the camera. Paul, Wayne and Winnie are in the background – Steve has disappeared. Mr. Diperna puts his hand on Kevin’s chest, stopping him near the doorway.)
MR. DIPERNA: Young man!
(Kevin backs up a few steps. Mr. Diperna crosses to the other side of the doorway and knocks on the window.)
(Close shot of a sign reading “POSITIVELY NO FOOD OUTSIDE THE CAFETERIA”.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the sign off-screen.)
MR. DIPERNA (V/O): What does that sign say?
(Close shot of Mr. Diperna looking at Kevin off-screen.)
MR. DIPERNA: Hmm?
(Shot past Mr. Diperna of Kevin as Mr. Diperna holds his arm.)
MR. DIPERNA: You take that apple…
MR. DIPERNA: Through that door and you’re asking for detention.
(Shot past Mr. Diperna of Kevin looking around the cafeteria, then at Mr. Diperna. Kevin frowns and shakes free of Mr. Diperna’s grasp.)
(Shot through the doorway of Kevin and Mr. Diperna as Kevin turns and walks out the door. Other students groan as the camera pans with Kevin. Mr. Diperna frowns and hurries through the cafeteria to the next door and steps out.)
(Mr. Diperna grabs Kevin’s shoulder. They face each other as Mr. Diperna spreads his jacket and hitches up his pants.)
MR. DIPERNA: I think we have a problem.
(Close shot past Mr. Diperna of Kevin looking at him.)
He was right – there was a problem.
(Kevin glances down, then up to Mr. Diperna off-screen and smirks.)
KEVIN: Oh, yeah. The apple.
(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Diperna looking at him.)
MR. DIPERNA: That’s right. (Nods.) The apple.
(Close shot past Mr. Diperna of Kevin looking toward the cafeteria.)
KEVIN: You wanted it…
(Kevin looks at Mr. Diperna.)
KEVIN: Inside the cafeteria.
MR. DIPERNA (V/O): That’s right.
KEVIN: And now it’s outside the cafeteria.
MR. DIPERNA: That’s right.
Conversation was getting stale.
I asked myself “Now, what would a guy…”
“Like Brian Cooper do in this situation?”
(Kevin looks down at his apple, then at Mr. Diperna, and throws the apple back into the cafeteria.)
(Wide shot of Kevin and Mr. Diperna, and the cafeteria behind them. Sound of a girl screaming and of silverware spilling. Mr. Diperna looks toward the cafeteria, then frowns at Kevin.)
(Close shot past Kevin of Mr. Diperna giving him a withering look.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking off, timidly. Some Snuffy guitar plays.)
KEVIN: Um, uh…
(Close shot past Kevin of Mr. Diperna frowning at him.)
KEVIN: If you want, I could…
(Kevin looks toward the cafeteria and nods, then points.)
KEVIN: Get that.
(More Snuffy guitar plays as Kevin looks at Mr. Diperna, who hooks him by the neck, pulling him out of the scene.)
This has never happened to you or anyone you know.
This works especially well when it’s me an a white girl.
It takes a certain type of white girl to fuck y’all..u can have them
You are so right, sport. That way if she gets pregnant your spawn will be like the majority of other black youth in this country, fully aware of who their father is.
That’s pretty neat
^ my text was supposed to be red. For republicans. But it didn’t work
Maybe if I get just a little high.
Being a complete tool. TFTC?
Telling her “stop screaming or i will fuck you with a can of pepper spray”. RFM
Not Calling. TFM.
I never call bitches.
Letting her stay the night..RFM?
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