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Betty White Is 94 And Possibly DTF

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Are any of you dudes into older chicks? Well I got some good news.

For any man who’s been trying to ruffle the sheets with a cougar, your time has come. Betty White is single, and ya girl is on the hunt for some dick. And for any guys thinking “Hell no! She’s old as fuck!,” calm down asshole. She’s only 94 years old. 94 is the new 91.

In a recent interview with Al Roker, the former the king of weight fluctuation (Jonah Hill stole his crown), the Golden Girls star revealed that she is apparently DTF. When asked about men, relationships and dating, she said, “Nobody asks me! Who’s gonna want to ask out a 94-year-old woman? It just doesn’t happen.”

From Huffington Post:

As for her advancing age, White ― who turns 95 on Jan. 17 ― was adamant that she has no plans to retire or to slow down anytime soon. Plus, she shared her personal fountain of youth.

“My work with animals,” she said. “Everybody should have or cultivate a passion. Don’t be afraid to really get hooked on something, because that will refurbish your energy.”

Dating Betty White WOULD have its perks. Let’s look at the positive aspects of this hypothetical scenario.

-You could learn a thing or two — old people have a lot of wisdom. She was alive during WWII, she sold weed to Shakespeare once (it’s a long story), and she went to college with Jesus. Imagine all the amazing stories she has.

-Older women, have, ahem, a little more “experience” in bed. Imagine all the shit she knows how to do in bed. She once 69’d with Winston Churchill, she tossed Socrates’ salad, and she even did an Alabama Marshmallow with Julius Caesar (but please do yourself a favor and do NOT google “Alabama Marshmallow”).

-She’s got a net worth of $45million….. and she’s 94 years old. So let’s be honest: She’s not gonna be with us much longer, which means you could get some insane inheritance money any day now.

So go to your Tinder settings, set the age range to “from 18-94,” and go get that GILF before it’s too late.

[via Huffington Post]

Image via Shutterstock

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Wally Bryton

TFM's most beloved writer

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