BID/BLACKBALL, WEEK 6: THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL PREVIEW

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Steelers (-6) vs. TITANS

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The people of Tennessee deserve this walking contradiction of a team. If this state had a mascot, doesn’t it have to be Garth Brooks and his bipolar alter ego Chris Gaines? Only in Tennessee do you get dry counties and Jack Daniels distilleries, Carrie Underwood and ice hockey, a Mason-Dixie superiority complex andchugging. And yet these people still trumpet backwards Southern Baptist values without the slightest hint of irony.

The Steel Curtain should have no problem decimating the white bread of the AFC South. My God, the Titans are bland. No flavor. Just take a look at Matt Hasselbeck, who will be taking the helm under center for the injured Jake Locker. The only personality to note on this team is CJ0K, who was last spotted walking backwards in line at the supermarket. Fantasy owners everywhere will rejoice the day that Kenny Britt guns down Johnson in another act of vehicular assault. He’s rushed for 210 yards through 5 weeks, including only 24 yards last week against the Vikings.

It should be clear to everyone by now. Chris Johnson does not run for yardage. He runs for RETARDAGE.

So while Jared Cook might have a nice little evening against what has been, to date, a bottom five fantasy defense, the pickings should be slim across the board for the Titans.

Meanwhile, we’re entering the stretch of the season where Pittsburgh goes off on a six game winning streak. Rapelisberger has looked GOOD, and has a full arsenal of toys to play with. Big fan of Antonio Brown and Mendy this week, even though the latter deserves a double tap for his views on September 11th.

 

If it weren’t for the Titans being at home under the lights, this one might be a laugher by halftime, and everyone could go home early. But that’s not the case, which is too bad for the Steelers. Because God knows that once Pittsburgh has a 3 touchdown lead, Ben’s going to be itching on the sidelines instead of padding his stats.

BID: Rashard Mendenhall, RB, PIT (90.1% ownership)

BLACKBALL: Chris Johnson, RB, TEN (100% ownership)

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LAST WEEK: 5-3
SEASON: 15-10-1

 

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  1. 2
    ImNateHlggers

    Hey JParks, I know were buddys and all, but I just wanted to take the time to point out YOU WERE WRONG HAHAHA. I hate both teams btw so idgaf

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. -1
    Stevethedrunk

    You sir, are a fucking idiot. Do not ever watch the game of football again. You have embarrassed yourself beyond explanation with this column.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  3. -2
    Jon M Fratsman

    Parks I swear to God I’m gonna tear her up. You know who. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll dive right in on that leathery old snatch. One more crack on Tennessee, bud. One more fucking crack on my beloved Volunteer State and Granny Parks will know the wrath these 2 inches can deliver.

    It’s been a long week, you guys.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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