Bottom Tier Problems

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“Dude I took down a whole case by myself last night… and no girls helped!”

“I would have had a date for formal…but all the girls I asked had date functions that weekend. Chalk it up to poor planning I guess…”

“We don’t like having girls at rush because we think it takes away from showcasing our brotherhood.”

“Double digit pledge class? Is that a record?”

“I sit behind the hottest ADPi in Bio, I introduced myself as the kid that sits behind her when I saw her at the bar last night, she thought it was hilarious. She must be sick though, I haven’t seen her in class for a while.”

“We are easily the chilliest frat on row.”

“Where is Costa Del Mar?”

“The house is a great place to study.”

“I could kill for a clove.”

“Our house is so FUCKING huge that people get lost in it. Sometimes I’ll be talking to a girl and the next thing I know she’s nowhere to be found.”

“But seriously, our house is really big, bro, that’s why it doesn’t look like many people are here.”

“I don’t care what you say, Ed Hardy is comfortable as shit.”

“Two fives is like one 10 right?”

“I’m more of a vodka cran kind of guy.”

“I can’t believe 10 kids dropped the first week…pussies.”

“We’re on the rise.”

“Can I get a lip?…Oh…nevermind…I only dip pouches.”

“That Polo Tat is SO FRAT.”

“Hope we get homecoming with…anyone”

“Incoming freshman girls LOVE our parties, although they don’t come around as much in the fall because school is so hard.”

“We like to take smaller pledge classes, it makes for a better brotherhood.”

“Yeah man, that actor/President was a brother here…well not here, at another chapter…in another state…60 years ago.”

“We’re one of the biggest fraternities…nationally.”

“High School was awesome.”

“We pride ourselves in intramurals…Back-to-Back Ultimate Frisbee Champs!”

“We’re really involved…we brought Humans Vs. Zombies to campus.”

“We’ve been on Fail Friday 6 times…TFTC.”

“Totally pregamed free movie night at the Union…FAF.”

“Man, I feel like EVERY girl I vibe with has a boyfriend.”

“Non-Secretive, Non-Hazing, Non-Exclusionary.”

Feel free to continue in the comments or on Twitter: #BottomTierProblems

Follow me on Twitter @TheDapperDipper

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Nice Move

TheDapperDipper

I am a proud University of Florida graduate with a degree in political science. I decided to stray from the lavish career path of a political scientist to join the Grandex team in December of 2013. When I'm not suffering from a panic attack, snacking at the Rowdy Gentleman office, or writing my bio in first person, I enjoy terrible found footage horror movies, brunch, and occasionally producing content for TFM and PGP.

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