Brazilian Women Get Naked…For Freedom

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While you may think Brazil is a country that gives no fucks when it comes to nudity, you are likely mistaken. The country’s archaic penal code, which is over seventy years old, considers chicks showing off their chest beefers to be an “obscene act.” While few of these cases of people breaking the law are ever prosecuted, violators can be imprisoned for three to twelve months or be fined. It’s serious stuff, guys.

In my opinion, it’s a pretty dumb law. I mean, I’m not really into soccer. I can’t speak Portuguese. I don’t particularly care for piranhas, fish that want to swim up my dickhole, and other crazy rainforest creatures of the Amazon. So why should I want to go to Brazil? The obvious and only reason is scantily clad women.

Admittedly, because this law is not really enforced, and because I don’t follow Brazilian legal news, I did not know that this was a problem. Regardless, some people are really pissed off about the whole issue. What do people do when they’re pissed off? They protest. What do people do when they’re pissed off about nudity laws?

They protest topless.

A topless protest was held on the world famous beach of Ipanema. Sadly, it wasn’t as awesome as you or I would hope it to be. Sadly, only a handful of women took their bikini tops off in protest of the tyrannical anti-titty law.

“A breast isn’t dangerous!” said Olga Salon, a 73-year-old Rio native, as she stripped off her black tank top. “It’s a false-Puritanism and indicative of our macho culture that we have a law forbidding that a woman can go topless.”

Not a bad argument, Olga. I’ll give you that. But please, put your shirt back on. I don’t want anyone to step on your boobs by accident. Those puppies were around during World War II. I assume they’re protected by some kind of historical preservation ordinance or something.

In all seriousness, this law makes absolutely no sense. Brazil, the land of thongs, is cool with exposed asses everywhere, but isn’t cool with a titty or two out in public? Some say this law discriminates against women, which considering men can go around topless, you could say it does. I, however, take it a step further.

See, this law isn’t only discriminating against women. It’s discriminating against us men too. Ass men get to see big, beautiful butts every damn day of the week. Do the titty men out there get their satisfaction? Hell no. It’s time to get rid of double standards, Brazil. Get rid of this cruel and oppressive law.

[via The Huffington Post]

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BlutarskyTFM

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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  1. -4
    The Prodigal

    Does anyone else think it’s weird how that foreign sign had all differently spelled words except for ass. I guess ass translates the same worldwide.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 12 months ago

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